Hump Day Rush, Now With 100% Less Rush! Options

[Slovman]

The Rush is on!

The topic will be SPACE!

Is Pluto a planet or not? Will rogue black holes kill us all? Is it worth our time to explore it?

Etc. Etc.

[GelfOgre]

Hey!


















HEY!















HEY!!!

















*Gelf Bunny spaces out

[Slovman]

This should be right in your wheelhouse, Mr. Ogre.

[GelfOgre]

I know, right?





so.....

























Space... is....... really really big.













No, it is!








I'm not making this up. It's friggin' big.

[GelfOgre]

You dont believe me?

[GelfOgre]

See, the thing about space is... it's everything, right? Like the whole enchilada. Dig it, there's Matter, and then between the matter is this funky stuff called Dark matter, and that's all there is, right? Except there're these energy bits, and that's like all quantum and shit.

And when you add all that up, it's still not enough stuff, so we know there's more stuff, but we dont know what the hell that's all about, so we're all like WHATEVER, and then space is like talk to the hand, and we're like, you dont even have a freaking hand! And then space laughs with a laugh that chills your very soul, and then you like freak out and start gibbering and pounding your head against the wall, and then Space says simmer down, buckaroo, and you calm right down because, y'know, Buckeroo is all comforting and shit.

[GelfOgre]

In space, no one can hear you blather.

[KilljoyBob]

Sooooo, is it possible that there could be a planet where life evolved from machines?

[GelfOgre]

I'm going to have to carry this whole thing, huh? What? Bionic woman doesn't even start until 9!!


OK, fine. I can tell you all about the dawn of the space age, which basically happened 50 years ago this month. Everyone was busy flying farther and faster and building missiles that would go all across the world ago blow everyone up n shit, right? So then the Russians (they used to be really cool in a totalitarian bad guy sort of way) built a rocket, and (because their Nazis were totally smarter than ours) managed to launch the first ever artificial satelite and it flew over the entire planet and beeped at us (Picture PONG, but like totally scary) so everyone freaked out and started building space crap like crazy! And now... theres a lot of junk floating around in space.


But space is really big, so it's OK.

[GelfOgre]

Sooooo, is it possible that there could be a planet where life evolved from machines?

No. Shut up.

[GelfOgre]

Once, the Russians launched a Dog up in space. People called it Muttnik.


There were lots of jokes about "Dog Stars"


I think it's really sad, cause... well... the dog didn't make it.




Woof.

[GelfOgre]

You know what's cool? I've met a lot of people who've actually BEEN in space... and most of them are dorks.


really.



























S..P..A..C..E..D..O..R..K..S!!














Yup.

[KilljoyBob]

Do they all want to be the next Captain Kirk?

[Slovman]

Do they all wanna drive cross country and kill their ex-lovers?

[GelfOgre]

At the international Space station, they mostly just wear socks, cause shoes are a drag. And people get kicked a lot.

I'd be all like, fug it. Gimme some steel toed Doc Martins.