Full Version: McCrea Awards Ceremony
*As the spotlight flashes onto the stage, the orchestra plays an upbeat tune.
AND NOW...THE HOST OF THE THIRD ANNUAL McCREA AWARDS...
LANTERN GIRL!!!
*Lantern Girl saunters onto the stage as the orchestra starts playing a number most often heard in burlesque houses. She blows kisses to the crowd and waits for the applause to die down before speaking.
Now, I know ya'll were probably expecting me to come out in my birthday suit right then, and I am sorry to disappoint. But I don't want you boys and girls getting all hot and bothered just yet. We've got a whole lot of awards to do, and people are gonna have to be walking on those aisles if you catch my meaning.
Not to mention there's some announcements our presenters might need to hear without distractions of the carnal sort. Let's see...where did I put that note from Slovman? Oh yes...
*Lantern Girl reaches into her ample cleavage, pulls out both the note and a pair of reading glasses.
Okay, here goes. Now pay attention, presenters!
"There is no set order for the awards, so whenever you're on, feel free to run onstage and do your thing. But please try and give some time for acceptance speeches whenever the award is being given to a forum member. Also, please try and put the award graphic under the SPOILER tag like so:"
Ya'll got that? Good!
*Lantern Girl slips her reading glasses back into her bosom.
Before we start handing out these shiny pieces to you folks, I'd like to sing a song. I know for a lot of you, 2006 was more of a downer than erectile dysfunction. But I'm here to tell you that things are gonna start turning around here. Ain't nothing so bad it can't get worse is true, but there also ain't nothing so bad it can't get better. We've got a whole new year ahead of us, kids. And I'm so excited about the prospects that I don't even need an orgasm to be feeling some afterglow.
So, with apologies to that little cutie Vanessa Carlton...
*The lights in the theatre dim and a lone piano starts playing in the orchestra.
Just when the days start getting colder
I walk the streets I never knew
There's some words I never told you
The sound...rings out...like the truth
And if you could see, what's come over me...
Then you would know
Cause I'm walking free
The wind at my back
Bathed in afterglow
As I sit here in this dark room
All I seem to feel is light
I see color, I see emerald
In the blood...of this life...that's ours
And if you could see, what's come over me...
Then you would know
Cause I'm walking free
The wind at my back
Bathed in afterglow
Watch the sun
It paints an orange sky
Lay me down
And feel the days gone by
Just when the days start getting longer
I walk the streets I never knew
The sun...comes out
For you
And if you could see, what's come over me...
Then you would know
Cause I'm walking free
The wind at my back
Bathed in afterglow
Bathed in afterglow.
Thank you folks! Munkylord and Lord Xenu will be out in a bit to present the award for Best Substitute Crab, so you just sit tight and enjoy the show!
AND NOW...THE HOST OF THE THIRD ANNUAL McCREA AWARDS...
LANTERN GIRL!!!
*Lantern Girl saunters onto the stage as the orchestra starts playing a number most often heard in burlesque houses. She blows kisses to the crowd and waits for the applause to die down before speaking.
Now, I know ya'll were probably expecting me to come out in my birthday suit right then, and I am sorry to disappoint. But I don't want you boys and girls getting all hot and bothered just yet. We've got a whole lot of awards to do, and people are gonna have to be walking on those aisles if you catch my meaning.
Not to mention there's some announcements our presenters might need to hear without distractions of the carnal sort. Let's see...where did I put that note from Slovman? Oh yes...
*Lantern Girl reaches into her ample cleavage, pulls out both the note and a pair of reading glasses.
Okay, here goes. Now pay attention, presenters!
"There is no set order for the awards, so whenever you're on, feel free to run onstage and do your thing. But please try and give some time for acceptance speeches whenever the award is being given to a forum member. Also, please try and put the award graphic under the SPOILER tag like so:"
CODE
[spoiler][img]http://www.thehallsofhysteria.com/picture.jpg[/img][/spoiler]
Ya'll got that? Good!
*Lantern Girl slips her reading glasses back into her bosom.
Before we start handing out these shiny pieces to you folks, I'd like to sing a song. I know for a lot of you, 2006 was more of a downer than erectile dysfunction. But I'm here to tell you that things are gonna start turning around here. Ain't nothing so bad it can't get worse is true, but there also ain't nothing so bad it can't get better. We've got a whole new year ahead of us, kids. And I'm so excited about the prospects that I don't even need an orgasm to be feeling some afterglow.
So, with apologies to that little cutie Vanessa Carlton...
*The lights in the theatre dim and a lone piano starts playing in the orchestra.
Just when the days start getting colder
I walk the streets I never knew
There's some words I never told you
The sound...rings out...like the truth
And if you could see, what's come over me...
Then you would know
Cause I'm walking free
The wind at my back
Bathed in afterglow
As I sit here in this dark room
All I seem to feel is light
I see color, I see emerald
In the blood...of this life...that's ours
And if you could see, what's come over me...
Then you would know
Cause I'm walking free
The wind at my back
Bathed in afterglow
Watch the sun
It paints an orange sky
Lay me down
And feel the days gone by
Just when the days start getting longer
I walk the streets I never knew
The sun...comes out
For you
And if you could see, what's come over me...
Then you would know
Cause I'm walking free
The wind at my back
Bathed in afterglow
Bathed in afterglow.
Thank you folks! Munkylord and Lord Xenu will be out in a bit to present the award for Best Substitute Crab, so you just sit tight and enjoy the show!
*Lord Xenu drives onstage in the General Lee, then climbs out the window and grabs Munkylord before walking up to the microphone.
Howdy, ladies and gents! Y'all having fun so far? Man, that Lantern Girl is a fine piece of ass, ain't she? Why, if those damn Scientologists hadn't castrated me before they trapped me inside that mountain, I'd be all over that woman.
Anyways, what we got here is the award for Best Substitute Crab. Now I ain't got the foggiest notion as to what that might be, and I reckon y'all ain't got no better thoughts on the subject.
But I understand this here Munkylord fella's a right smart little critter, so let's see if he can explain it to us layfolk.
Howdy, ladies and gents! Y'all having fun so far? Man, that Lantern Girl is a fine piece of ass, ain't she? Why, if those damn Scientologists hadn't castrated me before they trapped me inside that mountain, I'd be all over that woman.
Anyways, what we got here is the award for Best Substitute Crab. Now I ain't got the foggiest notion as to what that might be, and I reckon y'all ain't got no better thoughts on the subject.
But I understand this here Munkylord fella's a right smart little critter, so let's see if he can explain it to us layfolk.
*munkylord rings his bell once.
The pinchers of our life stretch before us like claws; one cannot escape the viselike grip of those who would see fit to alter the path on which we scramble, skittering on red, glinting legs over the windswept beaches of destiny as a fiddler plays a mournful tune.
Steam is our end, buttersauce our coffin.
And the hermits dine alone.
*munkylord rings his bell three times.
The pinchers of our life stretch before us like claws; one cannot escape the viselike grip of those who would see fit to alter the path on which we scramble, skittering on red, glinting legs over the windswept beaches of destiny as a fiddler plays a mournful tune.
Steam is our end, buttersauce our coffin.
And the hermits dine alone.
*munkylord rings his bell three times.
Uh...right. Anyone catch any of that?
*Lord Xenu hears only silence.
Yeah, that's what I done figgered.
Well, no sense in dragging this out any longer! The nominees for Best Substitute Crab are:
[sc]Armadillo
Bulldozer
Corn
Intestines
Wallet
[/sc]
And the winner is...
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]Three cheers for that little fella, I guess! Well, I got to get. With an award show in town, I know that ornery Tom Cruise might be sniffing about, and I ain't fixing for a tussle. See y'all later!
*Lord Xenu leaps back into the General Lee with Munkylord and drives off.
*Chaomancer Omega appears on stage in a puff of smoke
Good evening, Hallsians!
While crab may have needed a substitute in 2006 for unknown reasons, it's not the only thing that has been conspicuous in its absence... or at least in delays.
While us comics fans are used to periodic delays in titles, 2006 was truly a banner year for comics not making it to the stores shelves. It even closed out with a delayed shipment for west coast stores, which has continued on into the first week of 2007... if not further.
But I'm not here to talk about UPS not being as stoic about sleet and snow as the Post Office. I'm here to talk about when comics creators themselves are the reasons for their handiwork not making it into our hands.
But first, a few words of acclaim for those which have managed to get themselves a measure of respect. Kevin Smith's long-overdue "Spider-Man and the Black Cat" started shipping again late in 2005, and finished in January of 2006, so kudos to Kevin Smith. Now if he'd just hand in Daredevil: The Target, we might get him off the dishonor roll completely.
Also, 52 has been meeting every deadline, a feat of monumental proportions. Possibly it's sucking the timeliness out of the rest of DC, but given the delays from creators who aren't involved, and some who aren't even at the same company, I find it unlikely that it's responsible for the problems as a whole.
And a small round of applause please for all those other titles which have been steady and reliable in an unreliable year. There aren't many, but they deserve some praise.
Now... on to the troublemakers.
Superman/Batman continues its trend of not shipping in a timely fashion. And here we all thought Jeph Loeb was the problem.
Not to be outdone, Supergirl continues to be late, and has also undergone a surprising number of creative teams for its mere 12 issues.
Green Lantern has consistently failed to be on time for its entire run to date, and shows no signs of changing any time soon.
Astonishing X-Men switched to a bi-monthly schedule... and then failed to hit it. At a guess, I'd say it's hitting roughly quarterly. We may still be talking about the Whedon/Cassiday run this time next year.
Teen Titans, once a steadfast regular book, has suffered from delays since this time last year.
And of course, several other titles have suffered more minor delays. But what's worse than a title that's running late? A title running late after being heavily hyped.
Wonder Woman relaunched this summer under the creative team of Allan Heinburg and Terry Dodson. But Allan Heinburg's television writing career has put a crimp on his comics writing, making him put "Young Justice" on indefinite hiatus, and Wonder Woman has slipped to a bi-monthly schedule it rarely meets.
DC's All-Star line has two titles so far, All-Star Superman, and All-Star Batman & Robin, and neither is doing well on the task of actually coming out. All-Star Superman was actually rumored to be canceled at one point because it had been so long since it had been solicited that some retailers weren't sure it still existed. And All-Star Batman has had a single issue solicited and re-solicited several times through the course of 2006... and it still hasn't shipped. DC needs to add some more titles to this line in a hurry, or people may forget it exists... assuming you call this existence.
Of course, the worst sort of misplaced hype is when a creator winds up with his foot in his mouth... or in Mark Millar's case, someone's fist in his gut. Millar made a public statement that if Ultimates 2 wasn't finished by the end of 2006, every one of his fans could come and punch him in the stomach. Well, it's 2007, and issue #13 hasn't been shipped yet. As Mr. Millar has Crohn's disease, his gastroenterologist really should have advised him that this is the sort of stupid bet you shouldn't make unless you can back it up.
But of course, in 2006 even that doesn't win the prize for the most egregious delays. Almost all of Marvel's main line has suffered delays of several months due to most of the titles being tied in with the Civil War miniseries... which after starting off as a monthly, was rescheduled as a bi-monthly for reasons which seem to vary depending on who at the company is asked. When an entire segment of your titles are delayed by a single book, that's worthy of an award, right?
Right?
Well, maybe in any other year. But Civil War catches a break, as, astoundingly there's an even more egregious candidate out there. What could be more egregious than holding up dozens of titles?
Well, how about if a miniseries with no ties to any other title is delayed for no reason other than the creators weren't working on it?
How about if that miniseries had a gap of more than a year between its first and second issue?
What if the company producing the miniseries stated that they were going to wait until all issues were ready before publishing the rest, and then put out the first five issues at the end of 2005?
What if, despite this claim, it still took another year for the sixth issue to come out?
And to top it all off, what if the reason the title was delayed is because it was waiting to be finished by the artist... the man who is also editor-in-chief of the company? The guy whose very job is to make sure creators are timely?
Well, I'd have to say that's a miniseries whose delays hit truly inspiring heights of absurdity, and so it is easy for me to award the 2006 Bermuda Triangle Special Achievement Award to a title that finally managed to finish in November, more than two years late:
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
Way to set an example to your employees, Mr. Quesada.
*Chaomancer Omega walks off stage
Good evening, Hallsians!
While crab may have needed a substitute in 2006 for unknown reasons, it's not the only thing that has been conspicuous in its absence... or at least in delays.
While us comics fans are used to periodic delays in titles, 2006 was truly a banner year for comics not making it to the stores shelves. It even closed out with a delayed shipment for west coast stores, which has continued on into the first week of 2007... if not further.
But I'm not here to talk about UPS not being as stoic about sleet and snow as the Post Office. I'm here to talk about when comics creators themselves are the reasons for their handiwork not making it into our hands.
But first, a few words of acclaim for those which have managed to get themselves a measure of respect. Kevin Smith's long-overdue "Spider-Man and the Black Cat" started shipping again late in 2005, and finished in January of 2006, so kudos to Kevin Smith. Now if he'd just hand in Daredevil: The Target, we might get him off the dishonor roll completely.
Also, 52 has been meeting every deadline, a feat of monumental proportions. Possibly it's sucking the timeliness out of the rest of DC, but given the delays from creators who aren't involved, and some who aren't even at the same company, I find it unlikely that it's responsible for the problems as a whole.
And a small round of applause please for all those other titles which have been steady and reliable in an unreliable year. There aren't many, but they deserve some praise.
Now... on to the troublemakers.
Superman/Batman continues its trend of not shipping in a timely fashion. And here we all thought Jeph Loeb was the problem.
Not to be outdone, Supergirl continues to be late, and has also undergone a surprising number of creative teams for its mere 12 issues.
Green Lantern has consistently failed to be on time for its entire run to date, and shows no signs of changing any time soon.
Astonishing X-Men switched to a bi-monthly schedule... and then failed to hit it. At a guess, I'd say it's hitting roughly quarterly. We may still be talking about the Whedon/Cassiday run this time next year.
Teen Titans, once a steadfast regular book, has suffered from delays since this time last year.
And of course, several other titles have suffered more minor delays. But what's worse than a title that's running late? A title running late after being heavily hyped.
Wonder Woman relaunched this summer under the creative team of Allan Heinburg and Terry Dodson. But Allan Heinburg's television writing career has put a crimp on his comics writing, making him put "Young Justice" on indefinite hiatus, and Wonder Woman has slipped to a bi-monthly schedule it rarely meets.
DC's All-Star line has two titles so far, All-Star Superman, and All-Star Batman & Robin, and neither is doing well on the task of actually coming out. All-Star Superman was actually rumored to be canceled at one point because it had been so long since it had been solicited that some retailers weren't sure it still existed. And All-Star Batman has had a single issue solicited and re-solicited several times through the course of 2006... and it still hasn't shipped. DC needs to add some more titles to this line in a hurry, or people may forget it exists... assuming you call this existence.
Of course, the worst sort of misplaced hype is when a creator winds up with his foot in his mouth... or in Mark Millar's case, someone's fist in his gut. Millar made a public statement that if Ultimates 2 wasn't finished by the end of 2006, every one of his fans could come and punch him in the stomach. Well, it's 2007, and issue #13 hasn't been shipped yet. As Mr. Millar has Crohn's disease, his gastroenterologist really should have advised him that this is the sort of stupid bet you shouldn't make unless you can back it up.
But of course, in 2006 even that doesn't win the prize for the most egregious delays. Almost all of Marvel's main line has suffered delays of several months due to most of the titles being tied in with the Civil War miniseries... which after starting off as a monthly, was rescheduled as a bi-monthly for reasons which seem to vary depending on who at the company is asked. When an entire segment of your titles are delayed by a single book, that's worthy of an award, right?
Right?
Well, maybe in any other year. But Civil War catches a break, as, astoundingly there's an even more egregious candidate out there. What could be more egregious than holding up dozens of titles?
Well, how about if a miniseries with no ties to any other title is delayed for no reason other than the creators weren't working on it?
How about if that miniseries had a gap of more than a year between its first and second issue?
What if the company producing the miniseries stated that they were going to wait until all issues were ready before publishing the rest, and then put out the first five issues at the end of 2005?
What if, despite this claim, it still took another year for the sixth issue to come out?
And to top it all off, what if the reason the title was delayed is because it was waiting to be finished by the artist... the man who is also editor-in-chief of the company? The guy whose very job is to make sure creators are timely?
Well, I'd have to say that's a miniseries whose delays hit truly inspiring heights of absurdity, and so it is easy for me to award the 2006 Bermuda Triangle Special Achievement Award to a title that finally managed to finish in November, more than two years late:
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]Way to set an example to your employees, Mr. Quesada.
*Chaomancer Omega walks off stage
*Revil Fox jumps up on the stage.
There are a lot of people that come here to the Halls. Some of them are big, some small, some fat, some thin, some who can see well, some who can't. But there's one guy who comes around here who's able to take all of our hearts with just one look. He poses like an action hero at every opportunity, and it's in just that one look that melts even the sternest man. We never told him he was even up for this award, or that anyone was, but truly, nobody deserves it more. His right side is his good side, he is the man, the myth...
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
There are a lot of people that come here to the Halls. Some of them are big, some small, some fat, some thin, some who can see well, some who can't. But there's one guy who comes around here who's able to take all of our hearts with just one look. He poses like an action hero at every opportunity, and it's in just that one look that melts even the sternest man. We never told him he was even up for this award, or that anyone was, but truly, nobody deserves it more. His right side is his good side, he is the man, the myth...
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
Okay so in the world of comics a great story can be omnipotent. If a title has crappy art but a phenomenal story it will sell, however if its the other way around it wont sell nearly as much. Thus the comic book writer is a prestigious and honorable job. who's the best though? Well the results are in and your votes showed that there was one man in 06 who rose to the challenge like a pre teen on viagra. that man is.....
[spoiler]]
[/spoiler]
[spoiler]]
[/spoiler]
Well, that is one tough act to follow, but I can hold my own I think. This year featured many great covers, I’m sure some of which will show up in a covers battle at some point. We’ve got five great nominees. The first is from one of the year’s biggest events:
52 #1
The second is from a story that will be far reaching in the the near future:
JSA: Classified #10
The next Nominee is from the relaunch of one of DC’s franchises:
Justice League of America #1
What do Hallsians like better than green chicks? Green chicks with boots!
She-Hulk #5
Finally, we get a modern version of a classic:
X-Men: First Class #1
The McCrea for the Best Cover of 2006 is…
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
Congrats to the winner! Way to draw that cover man! I hope that next year, we can get a cover colored by our very own Gelf13!
52 #1
The second is from a story that will be far reaching in the the near future:
JSA: Classified #10
The next Nominee is from the relaunch of one of DC’s franchises:
Justice League of America #1
What do Hallsians like better than green chicks? Green chicks with boots!
She-Hulk #5
Finally, we get a modern version of a classic:
X-Men: First Class #1
The McCrea for the Best Cover of 2006 is…
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]Congrats to the winner! Way to draw that cover man! I hope that next year, we can get a cover colored by our very own Gelf13!
Yo.
Buh?
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
Dude.
Buh?
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]Dude.
Hey guys and gals. I'm not gonna beat around the bush with my presentation like Vin Diesel's Head because:
A) That was tough to top and
B) Destiny Lass is waiting on another drink.
So, with that said, I wanna tell you a bit about the award I'm presenting. Video games are a staple of many Hallsians weekly regimine, if not daily. They have entertained us, frustrated us and even helped to form friendships. They allow us to escape from the stresses and frustrations of life and get lost in a world of fantasy for an hour or three where you can be and do just about anything. I know they hold a special place in my life. So, I'm proud to present the nominees for BEST VIDEO GAME.
Marvel: Ultimate Alliance - The universe is in great peril and it's up to the heroes of the Marvel universe to stop yet another diabolical plot. In this superhero-filled action-RPG, players assume the roles of more than 20 Marvel Super Heroes including Spider-Man, Wolverine, Blade and Captain America, and through their actions determine the fate of both planet Earth and the Marvel universe.
Justice League Heroes - DC's answer to M:UA. Only with the joined forces of the globe's greatest superheroes can the evils of the world be stopped in this game based on the comic book series from DC Comics. Brainiac and his villain cronies have a master plan to conquer the world and eliminate the Justice League forever. Now, Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, The Flash, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter, Zatanna and a host of other superheroes must join together to save the world from this legion of notorious villains.
Dead Rising - There's a government lockdown on a sleepy little mountain town. So what would any sane photojournalist do? GO INVESTIGATE! The place is overrun with zombies and you have litteraly the world as your weapon. Use everything from a soccer ball to a lawn mower to try to stop this menace before it goes to far.
Lego Star Wars 2 - The Empire strikes back in this sequel to the endearing Star Wars game made all of LEGOs. LEGO Star Wars II follows the Rebel Alliance's battle to dismantle the Galactic Empire and rebuild a galaxy in pieces. From Darth Vader's pursuit of Princess Leia aboard her blockade runner to a showdown on the reconstructed Death Star, the game includes even more of the family-friendly LEGO action.
Shadow Hearts: From the New World - The third game in the RPG series, Shadow Hearts: From the New World follows Johnny, a sixteen-year-old detective who lost his father, sister and memory in an accident, accepts a request to find a criminal suspect who escaped from custody. As Johnny approaches the escapee, an illusion-like beast, who appears from a green light known as "The Window," swallows the escapee up. Johnny soon finds himself in a fight against the illusion-like creatures.
And the winner is:
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
A) That was tough to top and
B) Destiny Lass is waiting on another drink.
So, with that said, I wanna tell you a bit about the award I'm presenting. Video games are a staple of many Hallsians weekly regimine, if not daily. They have entertained us, frustrated us and even helped to form friendships. They allow us to escape from the stresses and frustrations of life and get lost in a world of fantasy for an hour or three where you can be and do just about anything. I know they hold a special place in my life. So, I'm proud to present the nominees for BEST VIDEO GAME.
Marvel: Ultimate Alliance - The universe is in great peril and it's up to the heroes of the Marvel universe to stop yet another diabolical plot. In this superhero-filled action-RPG, players assume the roles of more than 20 Marvel Super Heroes including Spider-Man, Wolverine, Blade and Captain America, and through their actions determine the fate of both planet Earth and the Marvel universe.
Justice League Heroes - DC's answer to M:UA. Only with the joined forces of the globe's greatest superheroes can the evils of the world be stopped in this game based on the comic book series from DC Comics. Brainiac and his villain cronies have a master plan to conquer the world and eliminate the Justice League forever. Now, Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, The Flash, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter, Zatanna and a host of other superheroes must join together to save the world from this legion of notorious villains.
Dead Rising - There's a government lockdown on a sleepy little mountain town. So what would any sane photojournalist do? GO INVESTIGATE! The place is overrun with zombies and you have litteraly the world as your weapon. Use everything from a soccer ball to a lawn mower to try to stop this menace before it goes to far.
Lego Star Wars 2 - The Empire strikes back in this sequel to the endearing Star Wars game made all of LEGOs. LEGO Star Wars II follows the Rebel Alliance's battle to dismantle the Galactic Empire and rebuild a galaxy in pieces. From Darth Vader's pursuit of Princess Leia aboard her blockade runner to a showdown on the reconstructed Death Star, the game includes even more of the family-friendly LEGO action.
Shadow Hearts: From the New World - The third game in the RPG series, Shadow Hearts: From the New World follows Johnny, a sixteen-year-old detective who lost his father, sister and memory in an accident, accepts a request to find a criminal suspect who escaped from custody. As Johnny approaches the escapee, an illusion-like beast, who appears from a green light known as "The Window," swallows the escapee up. Johnny soon finds himself in a fight against the illusion-like creatures.
And the winner is:
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
*KilljoyBob walks on stage, carrying a glass of brandy.
Thanks, Aaron. I'm here to present an award to another of the Hallsians' favorite distractions, movies. Movies allow us to escape into a multitude of amazing worlds, and live and learn through the conflicts of the characters presented on screen. Or, at least, they used to. Nowadays, Hollywood seems to regurgitate any hunk of crap that they think audiences will pay to see. Seriously, how many Dirty Dancing clones does the world need?
Anyway, despite this, there still manages to be a few good movies that sneak through the cracks every year, and 2006 was no exception. The following nominees for Best Movie are:
V for Vendetta - based on the Alan Moore graphic novel, it's the story of one political terrorist's actions against a fascist goverment in future England.
Superman Returns - after five years, the Man of Steel returns to find a world that may not need him anymore.
X-Men 3: The Last Stand - the final third act of the X-Men trilogy finds the heroes severely outnumbered and dealing with a mutant "cure."
Clerks II - Kevin Smith's sequel to his original seminal film, where Dante and Randal are dealing with being stuck in dead-end jobs for the past ten years.
King Kong - Peter Jackson's retelling of the original Hollywood classic, about a giant ape loose in New York and the woman that loves him.
And the winner is...
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
Thanks, Aaron. I'm here to present an award to another of the Hallsians' favorite distractions, movies. Movies allow us to escape into a multitude of amazing worlds, and live and learn through the conflicts of the characters presented on screen. Or, at least, they used to. Nowadays, Hollywood seems to regurgitate any hunk of crap that they think audiences will pay to see. Seriously, how many Dirty Dancing clones does the world need?
Anyway, despite this, there still manages to be a few good movies that sneak through the cracks every year, and 2006 was no exception. The following nominees for Best Movie are:
V for Vendetta - based on the Alan Moore graphic novel, it's the story of one political terrorist's actions against a fascist goverment in future England.
Superman Returns - after five years, the Man of Steel returns to find a world that may not need him anymore.
X-Men 3: The Last Stand - the final third act of the X-Men trilogy finds the heroes severely outnumbered and dealing with a mutant "cure."
Clerks II - Kevin Smith's sequel to his original seminal film, where Dante and Randal are dealing with being stuck in dead-end jobs for the past ten years.
King Kong - Peter Jackson's retelling of the original Hollywood classic, about a giant ape loose in New York and the woman that loves him.
And the winner is...
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
*Revil Fox walks back out onto the stage.
Well hello again Cats and Kittens. It wasn't an easy task we were saddled with, cutting down the best songs of the year to only five. But we did it anyway, because that's what we do. Cut things. usually Twinky. But here they are, in five bite sized "fun" pieces.
Tribute - by Tenacious D
The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny - by Lemon Demon
Knights of Cydonia - by Muse
Straight Outta Compton - by Nina Gordon
Thriller - Michael Jackson
And the winner, and best tasting dish with secret ingredient: Music, is...
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
Well hello again Cats and Kittens. It wasn't an easy task we were saddled with, cutting down the best songs of the year to only five. But we did it anyway, because that's what we do. Cut things. usually Twinky. But here they are, in five bite sized "fun" pieces.
Tribute - by Tenacious D
The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny - by Lemon Demon
Knights of Cydonia - by Muse
Straight Outta Compton - by Nina Gordon
Thriller - Michael Jackson
And the winner, and best tasting dish with secret ingredient: Music, is...
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
Man, this party is hopping! Let's keep her going, shall we?
2006 was a good year for heroclix. There were a handful of new sets, some collector sets featuring characters that were long requested, and the introduction of horrorclix, a game that Wizkids is trying to make compatable with the game we honor here. While many Hallsians have never played clix or have walked away from it, the game that brought many of us together will always hold a place in our hearts. Here are the figures that we felt were the best this year.
Green Lantern (Kyle)
After a horde of fans clammoring for him, the Collateral Damage set finally saw the release of the most recent Green Lantern. He lived up to his hype, boasting a slew of powers, and one of the best ranges in the game. Players used his might to blast their opponents. Beware this Lantern’s light.
Krypto
The Man of Steel needed his best friend, and Wizkids didn’t disappoint. The only issue most players had was that the super dog was an LE, and left many fans howling for more.
Mockingbird
A classic character finally put into play, this member of nearly every Avenger team made clixers happy. No one was mocking her power when she landed on the field.
Doctor Midnite
The JSA saw a big boost in ’06, and the good Doctor was one of the centerpieces. His ability to heal made him a key figure on many teams. Players often kept this doctor in their house.
Ambush Bug
He’s Ambush Bug. Is he totally nuts, or one of the strongest people in the world? No one really knows, and players didn’t really know how to use him. But he’s fun!
This year’s Heroclix Figure of the year is
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
2006 was a good year for heroclix. There were a handful of new sets, some collector sets featuring characters that were long requested, and the introduction of horrorclix, a game that Wizkids is trying to make compatable with the game we honor here. While many Hallsians have never played clix or have walked away from it, the game that brought many of us together will always hold a place in our hearts. Here are the figures that we felt were the best this year.
Green Lantern (Kyle)
After a horde of fans clammoring for him, the Collateral Damage set finally saw the release of the most recent Green Lantern. He lived up to his hype, boasting a slew of powers, and one of the best ranges in the game. Players used his might to blast their opponents. Beware this Lantern’s light.
Krypto
The Man of Steel needed his best friend, and Wizkids didn’t disappoint. The only issue most players had was that the super dog was an LE, and left many fans howling for more.
Mockingbird
A classic character finally put into play, this member of nearly every Avenger team made clixers happy. No one was mocking her power when she landed on the field.
Doctor Midnite
The JSA saw a big boost in ’06, and the good Doctor was one of the centerpieces. His ability to heal made him a key figure on many teams. Players often kept this doctor in their house.
Ambush Bug
He’s Ambush Bug. Is he totally nuts, or one of the strongest people in the world? No one really knows, and players didn’t really know how to use him. But he’s fun!
This year’s Heroclix Figure of the year is
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
And now for something completely different.
The Picture of the Week has been a mainstay of the Halls, almost since its inception. The subjects have been varied, but they have always led to discussions. The nominees for Best Picture of the Week are:
Hot Lesbian Action...Really!
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
(Still probably not work safe)
Whitey Stole My Bike
-picture submitted by TheRidge
My Prediction...Therapy
So Totally Not Kosher
Luke...I Am Your Kitty
And the winner is...
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
The Picture of the Week has been a mainstay of the Halls, almost since its inception. The subjects have been varied, but they have always led to discussions. The nominees for Best Picture of the Week are:
Hot Lesbian Action...Really!
[spoiler]
[/spoiler] (Still probably not work safe)
Whitey Stole My Bike
-picture submitted by TheRidge
My Prediction...Therapy
So Totally Not Kosher
Luke...I Am Your Kitty
And the winner is...
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
*aaronc3477 stumbles drunkenly onto the stage
Wowsa! Now THIS is a party! I guess before I get too wasted and forget about my responsibilites, I need to go ahead and present this next award.
As it has been for decades, the TV has been an outlet of entertainment for the masses and has produced more than it's share of memorable events, shows, etc. It envokes emotions in people that other outlets simply cannot do. We're now going to honor the nominees for best TV show of the year.
Heroes - The new hit drama about people all across the world "awakening" and realizing that they are special in some way and are destined for something greater. Supurb acting, a great storyline and a personal favorite of mine.
Lost - A groundbreaking series documenting the adventures of a band of survivors from a plane crash on a remote island i nthe Pacific Ocean. since their arrival, they have battled with each other, a band of "Others" and the island itself. One of the shows that continues to get better as it goes along.
Supernatural - a little known cult hit about two brothers on a quest to track down a demon that killed their mother when they were youung children. Following in their father's footsteps they travel the US battling evil in all of it's supernatural forms all while getting closer to their goal...but at what cost?
Battlestar Galactica - A re-hash of a popular 70's tv series that has, some say, made everyone forget all about the original. With stronger special effects, better acting and a gripping storyline, this series shocks and awes all at the same time.
Smallville - The continuing story of the adventures of a young Clark Kent, still coming to grips with his powers and inching ever closer to embrasing his future destiny of becoming the world's guardian: The Man of Steel.....Superman. the cast is supurb and the one show nominated with more hot chicks on the cast than there are dudes overall. can't go wrong with that formula!
And the winner for BEST TV SERIES is..........
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
Wowsa! Now THIS is a party! I guess before I get too wasted and forget about my responsibilites, I need to go ahead and present this next award.
As it has been for decades, the TV has been an outlet of entertainment for the masses and has produced more than it's share of memorable events, shows, etc. It envokes emotions in people that other outlets simply cannot do. We're now going to honor the nominees for best TV show of the year.
Heroes - The new hit drama about people all across the world "awakening" and realizing that they are special in some way and are destined for something greater. Supurb acting, a great storyline and a personal favorite of mine.
Lost - A groundbreaking series documenting the adventures of a band of survivors from a plane crash on a remote island i nthe Pacific Ocean. since their arrival, they have battled with each other, a band of "Others" and the island itself. One of the shows that continues to get better as it goes along.
Supernatural - a little known cult hit about two brothers on a quest to track down a demon that killed their mother when they were youung children. Following in their father's footsteps they travel the US battling evil in all of it's supernatural forms all while getting closer to their goal...but at what cost?
Battlestar Galactica - A re-hash of a popular 70's tv series that has, some say, made everyone forget all about the original. With stronger special effects, better acting and a gripping storyline, this series shocks and awes all at the same time.
Smallville - The continuing story of the adventures of a young Clark Kent, still coming to grips with his powers and inching ever closer to embrasing his future destiny of becoming the world's guardian: The Man of Steel.....Superman. the cast is supurb and the one show nominated with more hot chicks on the cast than there are dudes overall. can't go wrong with that formula!
And the winner for BEST TV SERIES is..........
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
*TwinkyMaster hops up onto stage with one leg chewed off and slobber all over his back.
I don't know about any of the rest of you guys but I feel a bit violated right now.
*TwinkyMaster ducks as a shotgun goes off above his head.
Well then, I guess I should get on with this thing.
Lots of comic book characters come and go. Some defy death and show up again later on down the road. But regardless of whether or not they return, they deaths should be meaningful and most certainly memorable. If there's anyone who knows something about meaningless and forgetful deaths, it's me right? Am I right? I'm right.
*TwinkyMaster is blown onto his back by a shotgun slug to his chest. He rolls over and climbs to his feet, trying to stop the cream filling from oozing out of his torso too quickly.
Okay, so anyways, the five nominees for Best Comics Death have each given us a very memorable and impactful death scene. They are:
Alexander Luthor
Booster Gold
Superboy
New Warriors
Goliath
And the winner is:
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
I don't know about any of the rest of you guys but I feel a bit violated right now.
*TwinkyMaster ducks as a shotgun goes off above his head.
Well then, I guess I should get on with this thing.
Lots of comic book characters come and go. Some defy death and show up again later on down the road. But regardless of whether or not they return, they deaths should be meaningful and most certainly memorable. If there's anyone who knows something about meaningless and forgetful deaths, it's me right? Am I right? I'm right.
*TwinkyMaster is blown onto his back by a shotgun slug to his chest. He rolls over and climbs to his feet, trying to stop the cream filling from oozing out of his torso too quickly.
Okay, so anyways, the five nominees for Best Comics Death have each given us a very memorable and impactful death scene. They are:
Alexander Luthor
Booster Gold
Superboy
New Warriors
Goliath
And the winner is:
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
*FireChick walks up on stage
I'm a little nervous. Never done one of these before. Here goes.
There are lots of holes in the world. Places can be a "hole in the wall." Some things are "hell holes." There are more "plot holes" than most of us can shake a stick at. But here at the Halls, there is one hole that use about all others. One hole that takes all our crap, debris, and usually oogie56 once or twice a month. We honor that hole tonight.
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
I'm a little nervous. Never done one of these before. Here goes.
There are lots of holes in the world. Places can be a "hole in the wall." Some things are "hell holes." There are more "plot holes" than most of us can shake a stick at. But here at the Halls, there is one hole that use about all others. One hole that takes all our crap, debris, and usually oogie56 once or twice a month. We honor that hole tonight.
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
*Redbeard takes the stage followed by thunderous cheering.
Thank you. Thank you. Well now, it seems that every year action figures become more and more expensive. So which ones are worth the cost and above all which one stands supreme. I forgot all the nominees for The Best Action Figure on account of the drink. So.....
The winner is:
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
Thank you. Thank you. Well now, it seems that every year action figures become more and more expensive. So which ones are worth the cost and above all which one stands supreme. I forgot all the nominees for The Best Action Figure on account of the drink. So.....
The winner is:
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
*Redbeard runs back on stage again followed with thunderous applause and a volley of womens thong underwear.
Wow. Thank you all very much. Superheroes. They can do some pretty cool shit. Everyone needs heroes. Some need heroes and therapy but that's a whole different topic. In 2006 we've seen some pretty awesome superheroes come and go. We've seen them fight each other over laws and women. We've seen them eat noodles. But which hero stands above the rest? Why does he stand above the rest? Is he really tall? The nominees are:
Hal Jordan
The Question
Alan Scott
Jamie Madrox
Mayor Hundred
And the winner is:
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
Wow. Thank you all very much. Superheroes. They can do some pretty cool shit. Everyone needs heroes. Some need heroes and therapy but that's a whole different topic. In 2006 we've seen some pretty awesome superheroes come and go. We've seen them fight each other over laws and women. We've seen them eat noodles. But which hero stands above the rest? Why does he stand above the rest? Is he really tall? The nominees are:
Hal Jordan
The Question
Alan Scott
Jamie Madrox
Mayor Hundred
And the winner is:
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
*Revil Fox descends from the rafters.
When I won this award last year, I had to beat out the deepest field ever put together here at the Halls. The other two were well deserving of the award, even Oogie, the crybaby. J-Oh is so awesome, an award had to be created just for him. Oogie...well, Oogie still hasn't won anything. He's probably crying about it right now. Shut up Oogie, the night isn't over. You could still win.
Anyway, although there is one less nominee this year, the two of them are no less deserving of the award. Here are the nominees for Best New Hallsian of 2006...
FireChick: She puts out fires in buildings, and sets them in Oogie's heart.Also, she beats him. One of the few women we have around here, never the less, she has no problem playing with the big boys. Or, in Twinky's case, the small boys.
Jonnie Redbeard: What can I say about hiim? His beard is on fire, and, once he actually started posting, he was one of the two fastest people to ever reach Hallsian status. In the shot time he's been here, he's started his own music thread, something that has been needed for a long tme now. He drinks a lot, and he's my football watchng buddy.
And the winner....and Best New Hallsian of 2006...is....none other.....than.....
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
When I won this award last year, I had to beat out the deepest field ever put together here at the Halls. The other two were well deserving of the award, even Oogie, the crybaby. J-Oh is so awesome, an award had to be created just for him. Oogie...well, Oogie still hasn't won anything. He's probably crying about it right now. Shut up Oogie, the night isn't over. You could still win.
Anyway, although there is one less nominee this year, the two of them are no less deserving of the award. Here are the nominees for Best New Hallsian of 2006...
FireChick: She puts out fires in buildings, and sets them in Oogie's heart.Also, she beats him. One of the few women we have around here, never the less, she has no problem playing with the big boys. Or, in Twinky's case, the small boys.
Jonnie Redbeard: What can I say about hiim? His beard is on fire, and, once he actually started posting, he was one of the two fastest people to ever reach Hallsian status. In the shot time he's been here, he's started his own music thread, something that has been needed for a long tme now. He drinks a lot, and he's my football watchng buddy.
And the winner....and Best New Hallsian of 2006...is....none other.....than.....
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
*Redbeard takes the stage a third time with some applause and stuff.
Holy Shit! What can I say? Thanks to all for not only nominating me but voting for me. Thanks to Fire Chick for keeping the race tough and just kicking ass in general. Thanks to Revil for not only turning me here but muffing the presentation. Thanks to KJB, Slov, CO, Twinky, Aaron, Oogie, Ridge and all the rest for keeping things entertaining and talk intresting. And thanks Lantern Girl for the wonderful sex. Peace!
*Redbeard stumbles drunk off the stage.
Holy Shit! What can I say? Thanks to all for not only nominating me but voting for me. Thanks to Fire Chick for keeping the race tough and just kicking ass in general. Thanks to Revil for not only turning me here but muffing the presentation. Thanks to KJB, Slov, CO, Twinky, Aaron, Oogie, Ridge and all the rest for keeping things entertaining and talk intresting. And thanks Lantern Girl for the wonderful sex. Peace!
*Redbeard stumbles drunk off the stage.
*KilljoyBob clambers back on stage, his tux stained and torn in several places.
Wow, that Lantern Girl just won't take "I have to go on stage and present an award" for an answer. Now, before I begin, I'd like to say that I usually stay away from the comics awards, seeing as how I haven't actively collected a comic in several years. So, I'll try to muddle through this next one, and I appologize to anyone that might actually care about it.
*Ahem* There is a saying that goes, "everything Fred Astaire had to do, Ginger Rogers had to do backwards and in heels." Well, the following nominees prove that to be the best superheroine, it takes more than a huge rack and a skimpy outfit. It takes as much courage and fighting spirit as any male superhero.
*KilljoyBob takes a sip of his drink.
Of course, a huge rack and skimpy outfit can't hurt.
The nominees for Best Superheroine are:
Enchantress
She-Hulk
Hawkeye
Wonder Woman
Sasha Bordeaux
And the winner is...
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
Wow, that Lantern Girl just won't take "I have to go on stage and present an award" for an answer. Now, before I begin, I'd like to say that I usually stay away from the comics awards, seeing as how I haven't actively collected a comic in several years. So, I'll try to muddle through this next one, and I appologize to anyone that might actually care about it.
*Ahem* There is a saying that goes, "everything Fred Astaire had to do, Ginger Rogers had to do backwards and in heels." Well, the following nominees prove that to be the best superheroine, it takes more than a huge rack and a skimpy outfit. It takes as much courage and fighting spirit as any male superhero.
*KilljoyBob takes a sip of his drink.
Of course, a huge rack and skimpy outfit can't hurt.
The nominees for Best Superheroine are:
Enchantress
She-Hulk
Hawkeye
Wonder Woman
Sasha Bordeaux
And the winner is...
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
*TwinkyMaster hops up on stage with bandages holding in his leaking cream filling.
DC, in it's infinite (get it?) creativity has been putting out a whole slew of brand new characters this past year. Most of them have been pretty fascinating and now the Halls have an award to recognize the most outstanding of those new characters. The nominees for Best New Character are:
Batwoman
Isis
[IMG=460]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/5b/52_week_12_isis.jpg[/IMG]
Osiris
Miss Martian
Blue Beetle III
And the winner of the 2006 McCrea for Best New Character is:
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
DC, in it's infinite (get it?) creativity has been putting out a whole slew of brand new characters this past year. Most of them have been pretty fascinating and now the Halls have an award to recognize the most outstanding of those new characters. The nominees for Best New Character are:
Batwoman
Isis
[IMG=460]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/5b/52_week_12_isis.jpg[/IMG]
Osiris
Miss Martian
Blue Beetle III
And the winner of the 2006 McCrea for Best New Character is:
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
Of course, characters aren't the only new things to come out in comics. Each year we see anywhere from a handful to an overload of new regular titles launched by DC, Marvel, Image, and all the smaller companies. The Halls being largely a mainstream group, DC and Marvel tend to get most of our attention, but let's take a moment to raise our glasses in a toast to every publisher who had the guts to try and get a new title to stick in 2006.
*Chaomancer Omega raises a bottle of Henry Weinhardt's Root Beer, takes a drink, and sets it down on the podium.
Now that that's done, here's a look at the best new titles of 2006:
Checkmate: Spinning out of Infinite Crisis and The OMAC Project, this series features a revitalization of the international espionage agency, starring Sasha Bordeaux, our winner of the Best Superheroine Award.
Green Lantern Corps: Green Lantern has become a true franchise for DC in 2006, and Green Lantern Corps expands the focus to look at the entire Corps who serve the Guardians. The focus is primarily on Guy Gardner, but numerous new characters have already been introduced in the series.
Justice League of America: After Infinite Crisis, the JLA needed rebuilding... and Brad Meltzer, who started the JLA's destruction with Identity Crisis, is the man bringing them back together. Wonder Woman, Superman, and Batman vote on the new members to bring in, while Black Canary, Green Lantern, and Roy Harper track down mad scientists and Red Tornado deals with becoming human.
The Thing: Ol' Blue Eyes got a solo series for the second time in his career, headed by Halls-favorite Dan Slott. Sadly, Marvel would cancel the issue after eight issues due to low sales.
X-Factor: Peter David returns to the team he made famous, with Madrox the Multiple Man in the starring role in a noirish take on living in Mutant Town.
Those are your nominees. And the winner is...
[spoiler]
Well, what do you know? Thousands of buyers and a big publishing company can be wrong!
[/spoiler]
*Chaomancer Omega raises a bottle of Henry Weinhardt's Root Beer, takes a drink, and sets it down on the podium.
Now that that's done, here's a look at the best new titles of 2006:
Checkmate: Spinning out of Infinite Crisis and The OMAC Project, this series features a revitalization of the international espionage agency, starring Sasha Bordeaux, our winner of the Best Superheroine Award.
Green Lantern Corps: Green Lantern has become a true franchise for DC in 2006, and Green Lantern Corps expands the focus to look at the entire Corps who serve the Guardians. The focus is primarily on Guy Gardner, but numerous new characters have already been introduced in the series.
Justice League of America: After Infinite Crisis, the JLA needed rebuilding... and Brad Meltzer, who started the JLA's destruction with Identity Crisis, is the man bringing them back together. Wonder Woman, Superman, and Batman vote on the new members to bring in, while Black Canary, Green Lantern, and Roy Harper track down mad scientists and Red Tornado deals with becoming human.
The Thing: Ol' Blue Eyes got a solo series for the second time in his career, headed by Halls-favorite Dan Slott. Sadly, Marvel would cancel the issue after eight issues due to low sales.
X-Factor: Peter David returns to the team he made famous, with Madrox the Multiple Man in the starring role in a noirish take on living in Mutant Town.
Those are your nominees. And the winner is...
[spoiler]
Well, what do you know? Thousands of buyers and a big publishing company can be wrong!
[/spoiler]
*Rock Gladstone stumbles up to the microphone.
There I was. Standing in front of hundreds of people. A lot of them crazy. Okay, all of them crazy. This place has more loose screws than the bleachers at a Negligent Building Contractors Convention.
Wait...do they even have those? I can't imagine negligent building contractors would want to congregate. Hmm.
Anyway, there I was, expected to present this award. This award that I won last year. They assured me I'd get to keep mine, which is the only reason I agreed to do it. It's shiny and I like it. Besides, it already got taken away once. It wouldn't be fair for it to get stolen again. Not fair at all. No sir.
What I was most worried about now was being killed by whoever won. They were all the violent sort. Especially that man with all the soda. I found a note in my pocket about him after I got off the roof, but I can't read my own handwriting. He might kill me for that. Or make me very wet and sticky.
The audience started to get restless. I had apparently been up there for quite awhile doing this inner monologue. I figured I should get down to it.
There's an award for people that aren't real. This is it. I won it last year because I'm...uh...good. I bet whoever wins it this year will...also...be...good. *coughs*
The people nominated were:
[sc]Sodacrotch Man
Rock Gladstone
KJBot
Zebra-12
George Lucas[/sc]
And the winner...was...
*Rock Gladstone puts the statue on the floor in front of the microphone and starts creeping back off-stage.
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
*Rock Gladstone turns and runs.
There I was. Standing in front of hundreds of people. A lot of them crazy. Okay, all of them crazy. This place has more loose screws than the bleachers at a Negligent Building Contractors Convention.
Wait...do they even have those? I can't imagine negligent building contractors would want to congregate. Hmm.
Anyway, there I was, expected to present this award. This award that I won last year. They assured me I'd get to keep mine, which is the only reason I agreed to do it. It's shiny and I like it. Besides, it already got taken away once. It wouldn't be fair for it to get stolen again. Not fair at all. No sir.
What I was most worried about now was being killed by whoever won. They were all the violent sort. Especially that man with all the soda. I found a note in my pocket about him after I got off the roof, but I can't read my own handwriting. He might kill me for that. Or make me very wet and sticky.
The audience started to get restless. I had apparently been up there for quite awhile doing this inner monologue. I figured I should get down to it.
There's an award for people that aren't real. This is it. I won it last year because I'm...uh...good. I bet whoever wins it this year will...also...be...good. *coughs*
The people nominated were:
[sc]Sodacrotch Man
Rock Gladstone
KJBot
Zebra-12
George Lucas[/sc]
And the winner...was...
*Rock Gladstone puts the statue on the floor in front of the microphone and starts creeping back off-stage.
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]*Rock Gladstone turns and runs.
*Jack Turnpike casually trips up Rock Gladstone while walking to the stage
Good evening ladies and gentlemen... especially the ladies.
*Jack Turnpike looks over at the teleprompter and starts reading
In comics, as in movies and television, the story can't survive just on the strength of its stars. Sometimes the real star isn't the character in the title, but one of the secondary characters, a figure who, while not always in the limelight, gives the title that extra polish that it needs to shine.
Superman wouldn't be the same without Lois Lane. Green Hornet had Kato. And Rock Gladstone just wouldn't be as funny without someone around to make his life miserable.
*Jack Turnpike looks puzzled for a minute
Wait a second... did this thing just call me a sidekick? I'm going to have words with the script-writer later on....
Anyway, these are the nominees for Best Secondary Character in 2006:
Hey, waitaminute. Now see, I knew I couldn't be the sidekick. Ol' Rosalyn is right here on the list. And sidekicks don't get sidekicks, right?
Oh, hang on. That's not Ros's name, unless it's an alias. Which I suppose is possible. Let's see what this bio says... ah. OK, not Ros. Definitely a striking resemblance, though.
Anyway:
Detective Chimp: An ape after my own heart, he dispenses sarcasm and intuition in equal doses for the Shadowpact, where he has become the de-facto advisor for the group of mystics. His only failing is that, much like Rock, he never manages to collect a payment.
Iris Meriweather: This smart lady has helped Cable create an island utopia in Cable/Deadpool, but is currently upset because Domino has made moves on Cable. Iris, babe, I gotta tell you: You should have made your own move earlier during one of the numerous times Cable was prancing around without his shirt. But feel free to give me a call sometime, and I'll make you forget all about that chump.
Pug: This guy is sort of like Rock, if Rock were a lawyer. Hapless, awkward, uncoordinated, a bit oblivious, and continually pining after She-Hulk while watching a much smoother guy sweep her off her feet, in his own apartment.
Ragdoll: This twisted contortionist provides both creepiness and elegance to the Secret Six as they run from heroes and villains alike. I once knew a girl who could move like that. Off hand, I'll take the girl.
Skeets: Coming back from the future with Booster Gold, Skeets orchestrated Booster's rise to success, then watched him crash and burn, and then locked a sucker in a sealed laboratory, and went on to kill several people. We don't know where he'll finish, but most likely it's not going to end well for him or anybody around him. Is it just me, or does it seem like Justice League International had more than its share of security risks?
And the winner of the 2006 McCrea Award for Best Secondary Character is....
[spoiler]
Let's hear it for the monkey!
Bobo couldn't be here tonight, so accepting for him is his stunt double, Rock Gladstone. Rock! Get up here![/spoiler]
Good evening ladies and gentlemen... especially the ladies.
*Jack Turnpike looks over at the teleprompter and starts reading
In comics, as in movies and television, the story can't survive just on the strength of its stars. Sometimes the real star isn't the character in the title, but one of the secondary characters, a figure who, while not always in the limelight, gives the title that extra polish that it needs to shine.
Superman wouldn't be the same without Lois Lane. Green Hornet had Kato. And Rock Gladstone just wouldn't be as funny without someone around to make his life miserable.
*Jack Turnpike looks puzzled for a minute
Wait a second... did this thing just call me a sidekick? I'm going to have words with the script-writer later on....
Anyway, these are the nominees for Best Secondary Character in 2006:
Hey, waitaminute. Now see, I knew I couldn't be the sidekick. Ol' Rosalyn is right here on the list. And sidekicks don't get sidekicks, right?
Oh, hang on. That's not Ros's name, unless it's an alias. Which I suppose is possible. Let's see what this bio says... ah. OK, not Ros. Definitely a striking resemblance, though.
Anyway:
Detective Chimp: An ape after my own heart, he dispenses sarcasm and intuition in equal doses for the Shadowpact, where he has become the de-facto advisor for the group of mystics. His only failing is that, much like Rock, he never manages to collect a payment.
Iris Meriweather: This smart lady has helped Cable create an island utopia in Cable/Deadpool, but is currently upset because Domino has made moves on Cable. Iris, babe, I gotta tell you: You should have made your own move earlier during one of the numerous times Cable was prancing around without his shirt. But feel free to give me a call sometime, and I'll make you forget all about that chump.
Pug: This guy is sort of like Rock, if Rock were a lawyer. Hapless, awkward, uncoordinated, a bit oblivious, and continually pining after She-Hulk while watching a much smoother guy sweep her off her feet, in his own apartment.
Ragdoll: This twisted contortionist provides both creepiness and elegance to the Secret Six as they run from heroes and villains alike. I once knew a girl who could move like that. Off hand, I'll take the girl.
Skeets: Coming back from the future with Booster Gold, Skeets orchestrated Booster's rise to success, then watched him crash and burn, and then locked a sucker in a sealed laboratory, and went on to kill several people. We don't know where he'll finish, but most likely it's not going to end well for him or anybody around him. Is it just me, or does it seem like Justice League International had more than its share of security risks?
And the winner of the 2006 McCrea Award for Best Secondary Character is....
[spoiler]
Let's hear it for the monkey!
Bobo couldn't be here tonight, so accepting for him is his stunt double, Rock Gladstone. Rock! Get up here![/spoiler]
Huh? What? I won something?
*Rock Gladstone shuffles back onto the stage and takes the award.
Wait, this says "Detective Chimp!" What's that supposed to mean?
*Rock Gladstone shuffles back onto the stage and takes the award.
Wait, this says "Detective Chimp!" What's that supposed to mean?
It's an honorrific. The United States Detective Society hands out an award for Best Detective every year, and the recipient is nicknamed "Detective Chimp" as part of an age old tradition. And this year, you were voted as the winner!
*Jack Turnpike mugs for the camera
*Jack Turnpike mugs for the camera
Well, okay...I've never heard of that before, but I'm not about to turn down an award. Thanks!
*Rock Gladstone walks offstage.
*Rock Gladstone walks offstage.
I swear, sometimes it's too easy...
*Jack Turnpike walks off stage
*Jack Turnpike walks off stage
*Jade steps onto the stage in a lovely shimmering blue dress and waits until Slovman meets her there before she begins speaking.
As I've found in my short time here, the Halls of Hysteria isn't just a forum or a place, but a story. A collaboration that's written and woven together little by little each day.
That story got some pictures last year when the first Halls Comics Covers showed up, depicting nearly all the Hallsians as heroes of their own titles, or as members of a group. These quickly became a popular feature, as they helped put a face on the ongoing saga of the Halls.
The five covers that did it best are nominated here. Slovman?
As I've found in my short time here, the Halls of Hysteria isn't just a forum or a place, but a story. A collaboration that's written and woven together little by little each day.
That story got some pictures last year when the first Halls Comics Covers showed up, depicting nearly all the Hallsians as heroes of their own titles, or as members of a group. These quickly became a popular feature, as they helped put a face on the ongoing saga of the Halls.
The five covers that did it best are nominated here. Slovman?
Thank you, Jade.
The nominees are:
Aaronc3477 #29 - An homage to Action Comics #1.
Kill Twinky Volume One - An homage to the Kill Bill posters.
Rock Gladstone: Private Eye #16 - A cover conveying just how miserable Rock is most of the time.
The Storm #1 - One of the few covers depicting "current events" at the Halls.
Watchmen #7 - A nearly-surrealist piece with tons of character.
And the winner is:
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
The nominees are:
Aaronc3477 #29 - An homage to Action Comics #1.
Kill Twinky Volume One - An homage to the Kill Bill posters.
Rock Gladstone: Private Eye #16 - A cover conveying just how miserable Rock is most of the time.
The Storm #1 - One of the few covers depicting "current events" at the Halls.
Watchmen #7 - A nearly-surrealist piece with tons of character.
And the winner is:
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
What an awesome night. Right now, I've got 2 awards to give out. Both are important in their own special ways.
The Halls each year seems to face more and more challenges. We see the worst of the worst-villains who want to kill us. Zombies who want to eat our brains. Men who spray soda in our crotches. Bono. Each time, we have been able to defeat these enemies, at times with some personal injury. We also saw the arrival of what has seemed to be a nearly unstoppable force. This person tore through the FUSUD, smashing nearly every opponent who got into her way. She blasted many a Hallsian, and nearly every man on the planet, with her special brand of “fun.” I’ve yet to find anything that can truly stop her, and I’ve been dealing with her for years. So, we present this special award to a not so special lady.
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
Please, don’t come up here. I want to see the rest of the show.
The Halls each year seems to face more and more challenges. We see the worst of the worst-villains who want to kill us. Zombies who want to eat our brains. Men who spray soda in our crotches. Bono. Each time, we have been able to defeat these enemies, at times with some personal injury. We also saw the arrival of what has seemed to be a nearly unstoppable force. This person tore through the FUSUD, smashing nearly every opponent who got into her way. She blasted many a Hallsian, and nearly every man on the planet, with her special brand of “fun.” I’ve yet to find anything that can truly stop her, and I’ve been dealing with her for years. So, we present this special award to a not so special lady.
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]Please, don’t come up here. I want to see the rest of the show.
This year, Indy comics were peppered with great titles. This years McCrea Nominees reflect that, and again are some of the strongest titles outside the main universes. Each year, Vertigo, Image, Dark Horse, and a slew of other publishes fight for money against Marvel and DC. We gladly read them, in the hopes that they keep putting out great work, and don’t go the way of two of my personal favorites-Valiant and Crossgen. The Nominees this year for Best Indy Title are:
Fables
Invincible
Powers
The Walking Dead
Y the Last Man
Will it be a three-peat for Fables? This year’s Best Indy McCrea goes to
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
Fables
Invincible
Powers
The Walking Dead
Y the Last Man
Will it be a three-peat for Fables? This year’s Best Indy McCrea goes to
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
*Zebra-12 suddenly appears from behind the podium.
Sorry I wasn't up here to receive my award earlier; I've been chasing that darn Ridge all over the theatre.
Thank you all very much for this award. It means very much to me, most of all it means that I don't have to crack any skulls. It's nice to know that a zebra can go from being known only by his designation number and list of kills to being named the Best Fake Hallsian. Thank you very much!
*Zebra-12 throws down a smoke bomb, and when the smoke clears he is back in his seat.
Sorry I wasn't up here to receive my award earlier; I've been chasing that darn Ridge all over the theatre.
Thank you all very much for this award. It means very much to me, most of all it means that I don't have to crack any skulls. It's nice to know that a zebra can go from being known only by his designation number and list of kills to being named the Best Fake Hallsian. Thank you very much!
*Zebra-12 throws down a smoke bomb, and when the smoke clears he is back in his seat.
*Slides casually out of the shadows, begins speaking before clearly being seen
They BURN with evil, try to conquer the world, distroy reality, consume worlds, remake places into their own image, re-write history to look more like they want, or sometimes they want to kill heros, and steal money...
But Villians are the reason why any story is interesting, they provide a challange, a clash, a reason to get up in the morning and put on your tights.
The nominees this year were:
Superboy Prime (Infinate Crisis)
Iron Man (Civil War)
Doctor Doom (...Probably Fantastic Four, but who the hell knows, right?)
Alexander Luthor (Infinate Crisis/Crisis Countdown events)
Black Adam (Villians United)
THIS year we're focusing on the most cagy and dangerous villian of all, the kind of villian who actually believes himself to be righteous in his course, made all the more complicated by the fact that a majority of the regular population agrees with him.
Without further or do, this year's victor for Best Supervillian... cue maniacle laughter and mustache twisting:
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
They BURN with evil, try to conquer the world, distroy reality, consume worlds, remake places into their own image, re-write history to look more like they want, or sometimes they want to kill heros, and steal money...
But Villians are the reason why any story is interesting, they provide a challange, a clash, a reason to get up in the morning and put on your tights.
The nominees this year were:
Superboy Prime (Infinate Crisis)
Iron Man (Civil War)
Doctor Doom (...Probably Fantastic Four, but who the hell knows, right?)
Alexander Luthor (Infinate Crisis/Crisis Countdown events)
Black Adam (Villians United)
THIS year we're focusing on the most cagy and dangerous villian of all, the kind of villian who actually believes himself to be righteous in his course, made all the more complicated by the fact that a majority of the regular population agrees with him.
Without further or do, this year's victor for Best Supervillian... cue maniacle laughter and mustache twisting:
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
2006, while being a cursed year generally, did have a few bright spots. One of these were the plethora of battles that we saw. There were a total of 17 battles this year, just over half of them run by Chaomancer Omega. CO, stand up and take a bow man.
*oogie56 applaudes as CO takes a bow
He is truly that Master of the Battles. I know I, and I’m sure the rest of the Halls, eagerly await what you have in store for 2007. So, we had 17 great battles. Here were the five that stood out above the rest.
Battle of the Cartoons
Orchastrated by Chaomancer Omega during the spring, this battle featured some heated debate, as well as some heavy favorites going out earlier than expected. Maybe the biggest shock was the epic run of Futurama, getting all the way to the Final 4, only to lose to eventual champ Looney Tunes.
Battle of the Video Games
Another CO Battle, this one took the best Classic games and Modern games, then pitted their champs against each other. The Classic final pitted two of Nintendo’s greatest chracters against each other, while the Modern saw the meeting of games on the PC. In the end, the world conquering Civilization 2 edged out Super Mario Bros. for the title.
Battle of the Babes II
One of the most popular topics in the Halls is the Babe. So it was a bit of a shock that it took two years for a second Babes Battle to occur. TheRidge gathered and organized the hottest women he and his fellow Hallsians could find. The Battle was dominated by Babes from some of the Halls favorite films, including Firefly’s female stars Summer Glau and Jewel Staite facing off the Divisional Final round. Kate Beckinsale took the tiara, based on her strong body…of work.
Battle of the Movie Villains
The final Battle of the year was also one the years most hotly contested. KilljoyBob’s long rumored Battle came to pass in the fall, and it lived up to all the expectations. In the end, it was a Sith showdown in one semi, and a meeting of comic villains in another. Palpatine, evil despot and Sith master, edged Magneto for the win.
Battle of the Comic Book Covers II
The sequal to oogie56’s first Battle, the second Comic Cover Battle was a fiercely debated one. Many people drew lines in the sand, not wanting to let their favorites go down without a fight. The Final 4 shined with two great Catwoman covers, and the more modern ones seemed to dominate this time around. In the end, Catwoman edged out a crazed Green Lantern for the title.
What a great group. It was a tough choice to decide the winner. There can be only one, however, and this year’s McCrea for Best Battle goes to:
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
*oogie56 applaudes as CO takes a bow
He is truly that Master of the Battles. I know I, and I’m sure the rest of the Halls, eagerly await what you have in store for 2007. So, we had 17 great battles. Here were the five that stood out above the rest.
Battle of the Cartoons
Orchastrated by Chaomancer Omega during the spring, this battle featured some heated debate, as well as some heavy favorites going out earlier than expected. Maybe the biggest shock was the epic run of Futurama, getting all the way to the Final 4, only to lose to eventual champ Looney Tunes.
Battle of the Video Games
Another CO Battle, this one took the best Classic games and Modern games, then pitted their champs against each other. The Classic final pitted two of Nintendo’s greatest chracters against each other, while the Modern saw the meeting of games on the PC. In the end, the world conquering Civilization 2 edged out Super Mario Bros. for the title.
Battle of the Babes II
One of the most popular topics in the Halls is the Babe. So it was a bit of a shock that it took two years for a second Babes Battle to occur. TheRidge gathered and organized the hottest women he and his fellow Hallsians could find. The Battle was dominated by Babes from some of the Halls favorite films, including Firefly’s female stars Summer Glau and Jewel Staite facing off the Divisional Final round. Kate Beckinsale took the tiara, based on her strong body…of work.
Battle of the Movie Villains
The final Battle of the year was also one the years most hotly contested. KilljoyBob’s long rumored Battle came to pass in the fall, and it lived up to all the expectations. In the end, it was a Sith showdown in one semi, and a meeting of comic villains in another. Palpatine, evil despot and Sith master, edged Magneto for the win.
Battle of the Comic Book Covers II
The sequal to oogie56’s first Battle, the second Comic Cover Battle was a fiercely debated one. Many people drew lines in the sand, not wanting to let their favorites go down without a fight. The Final 4 shined with two great Catwoman covers, and the more modern ones seemed to dominate this time around. In the end, Catwoman edged out a crazed Green Lantern for the title.
What a great group. It was a tough choice to decide the winner. There can be only one, however, and this year’s McCrea for Best Battle goes to:
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
*KilljoyBob returns to the stage.
As I've found in my long time here, the Halls of Hysteria isn't just a forum or a story, but a place. A living, breathing world that we build a little each day.
Part of what goes into making this feel more like a world are the stores on the Isle. While the Midtowns have had a rough existence, finally being merged into one, and the attempt to populate them with employees was a failed experiment, the stores have become a permanent part of the Halls.
Now is the time, when we honor the five best stores. The nominees are:
First Strike Tactical Nukes - When the armaments at Mrs. Butterworth's Bazookas just aren't enough, First Strike will provide you with firepower to destroy damn near anything.
Hostess Fruit Pie Warehouse - Running all day, every day, the Warehouse provides yours truly with enough Fruit Pies to combat any threat and feed the Halls.
Pandora's Pizza Ox - The Pizza Ox makes sure that Hallsians eat more than just Fruit Pies all the time, and its expendible delivery guys will even deliver to Elektra Park.
Bogart's Nachos - Another eating establishement, specializing in spicy Mexican food. Is it any wonder I can't lose any weight?
Sparkplug's Emporium - Run by Quinnbot, this robot repair shop keeps our mechanical members shiny and in good working order.
And, the winner is...
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
As I've found in my long time here, the Halls of Hysteria isn't just a forum or a story, but a place. A living, breathing world that we build a little each day.
Part of what goes into making this feel more like a world are the stores on the Isle. While the Midtowns have had a rough existence, finally being merged into one, and the attempt to populate them with employees was a failed experiment, the stores have become a permanent part of the Halls.
Now is the time, when we honor the five best stores. The nominees are:
First Strike Tactical Nukes - When the armaments at Mrs. Butterworth's Bazookas just aren't enough, First Strike will provide you with firepower to destroy damn near anything.
Hostess Fruit Pie Warehouse - Running all day, every day, the Warehouse provides yours truly with enough Fruit Pies to combat any threat and feed the Halls.
Pandora's Pizza Ox - The Pizza Ox makes sure that Hallsians eat more than just Fruit Pies all the time, and its expendible delivery guys will even deliver to Elektra Park.
Bogart's Nachos - Another eating establishement, specializing in spicy Mexican food. Is it any wonder I can't lose any weight?
Sparkplug's Emporium - Run by Quinnbot, this robot repair shop keeps our mechanical members shiny and in good working order.
And, the winner is...
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
*Revil Fox is raised up through the stage on a hidden platform.
And here I am again, to present my final award. All of these titles are very worthy of being nominated here. If we were the BCS, we'd probably just give them all a share of the MCCrea. But here at the Halls, we never have more than one winner, because that's dumb. So here are the nominees:
Astonishing X-Men
Cable & Deadpool
Legion of Super-Heroes
Teen Titans
X-Factor
*Revil Fox is speaking to someone off stage
Hey, did you see what Emma Frost is wearing? Apparently she's back to being Dominatrix Queen again...Is it wrong for me to find that hot?
*Revil Fox blinks and realizes the camera is back on him.
Uh....and the winner is...
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
And here I am again, to present my final award. All of these titles are very worthy of being nominated here. If we were the BCS, we'd probably just give them all a share of the MCCrea. But here at the Halls, we never have more than one winner, because that's dumb. So here are the nominees:
Astonishing X-Men
Cable & Deadpool
Legion of Super-Heroes
Teen Titans
X-Factor
*Revil Fox is speaking to someone off stage
Hey, did you see what Emma Frost is wearing? Apparently she's back to being Dominatrix Queen again...Is it wrong for me to find that hot?
*Revil Fox blinks and realizes the camera is back on him.
Uh....and the winner is...
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
Darkhawk Lake isn't a place for the feighnt of heart. Each day, Hallsians fear who or what they may encounter on those obsidian waters. Each year, we honor one of those fish who stole our hearts, and wrecked our boats. This years' nominees are:
Radioactive Hobo
Keebler Elf
The Sun
Eel
Stonehenge
This year's best fish is none other than...
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
Radioactive Hobo
Keebler Elf
The Sun
Eel
Stonehenge
This year's best fish is none other than...
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
*Jade pats FireChick on the ass as she leaves the stage.
With mega-crossover events raging at both DC and Marvel this year, there were miniseries aplenty. As a casualty of Rann-Thanagar War, I've got a healthy dislike of the miniseries format, but I know that most of them weren't as bad as that one was.
In fact, there were at least five miniseries this year that blew the doors off the place. They are:
Marvel Zombies - In an alternate dimension, the heroes of the Marvel Universe have been transformed into flesh-eating monsters.
Spike vs Dracula - The villain-turned-reluctant-hero-turned-villain of the Buffy TV series returns in this mini to take on the most legendary bloodsucker of them all.
Secret Six - Spinning out of the Villains United miniseries of 2005, this one follows Catman and crew.
Infinite Crisis - The grand finale of all the Countdown miniseries at DC and the catalyst for "One Year Later" and "52."
Civil War - Back in the regular Marvel Universe, the prospect of hero registration splits the capes into two battling factions.
And the winner is...
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
With mega-crossover events raging at both DC and Marvel this year, there were miniseries aplenty. As a casualty of Rann-Thanagar War, I've got a healthy dislike of the miniseries format, but I know that most of them weren't as bad as that one was.
In fact, there were at least five miniseries this year that blew the doors off the place. They are:
Marvel Zombies - In an alternate dimension, the heroes of the Marvel Universe have been transformed into flesh-eating monsters.
Spike vs Dracula - The villain-turned-reluctant-hero-turned-villain of the Buffy TV series returns in this mini to take on the most legendary bloodsucker of them all.
Secret Six - Spinning out of the Villains United miniseries of 2005, this one follows Catman and crew.
Infinite Crisis - The grand finale of all the Countdown miniseries at DC and the catalyst for "One Year Later" and "52."
Civil War - Back in the regular Marvel Universe, the prospect of hero registration splits the capes into two battling factions.
And the winner is...
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
Well folks, the Awards aren't over, but it's time to present the biggest award of the night: Best Hallsian!
It has been my honor to serve as Best Hallsian for the past year, but it's time to pass that honor on to someone else. Here are the nominees:
Aaronc3477: For doing his part in making the FUSUD fun, for being a major participant in both the sports and video games forums, and for spearing everything that looks at him funny.
KilljoyBob: For his work on the Battle of the Babes II, the Sexy Sixteen: Battle of the Classic Babes, and Battle of the Movie Villains, for stewardship of the Harems, and for always being ready with a fruit pie to help a friend or hurt a foe.
Oogie56: For running two comics covers battles and one junk food battle, for helping to orchestrate the zombie attack storyline, for numerous babe posts, and for never failing to crawl back out of the elevator shaft.
Revil Fox: For helping to initiate the Storm/Mirror Slovman storyline, for heavy participation in virtually every forum, and for making a dress look manly.
TwinkyMaster: For always participating in Halls, movie, and comics discussions, and for being a good sport and letting us kill him all the time.
And the winner for the 2006 McCrea Award for Best Hallsian is....
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
Congratulations! Come on up here and take a bow!
It has been my honor to serve as Best Hallsian for the past year, but it's time to pass that honor on to someone else. Here are the nominees:
Aaronc3477: For doing his part in making the FUSUD fun, for being a major participant in both the sports and video games forums, and for spearing everything that looks at him funny.
KilljoyBob: For his work on the Battle of the Babes II, the Sexy Sixteen: Battle of the Classic Babes, and Battle of the Movie Villains, for stewardship of the Harems, and for always being ready with a fruit pie to help a friend or hurt a foe.
Oogie56: For running two comics covers battles and one junk food battle, for helping to orchestrate the zombie attack storyline, for numerous babe posts, and for never failing to crawl back out of the elevator shaft.
Revil Fox: For helping to initiate the Storm/Mirror Slovman storyline, for heavy participation in virtually every forum, and for making a dress look manly.
TwinkyMaster: For always participating in Halls, movie, and comics discussions, and for being a good sport and letting us kill him all the time.
And the winner for the 2006 McCrea Award for Best Hallsian is....
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]Congratulations! Come on up here and take a bow!
*oogie56 walks up to the stage and accepts the award from CO
Wow. Just wow. I didn't think I honestly had a chance at this one. I am floored that I got this. I'd like to say that I consider this the greatest honor anyone at the Halls can get. It's amazing. I hope that I can continue to do in 2007 what got me here in 2006. To those who I nipped, because I'm sure it was a matter of one vote, keep it up. Keep spearing, fearing, fruit pie-ing, and dying. One of you guys will be up here at this time next year.
I want to tell my mom to go to hell and close her legs. I wanna tell my wife that I'm going to FRACK the hell out of her tonight. I wanna thank everyone who voted for me. And finally, I wanna say SCREW 2006! 2007-THE YEAR OF THE HALLS!
*oogie56 wipes away a tear, and heads off stage
Wow. Just wow. I didn't think I honestly had a chance at this one. I am floored that I got this. I'd like to say that I consider this the greatest honor anyone at the Halls can get. It's amazing. I hope that I can continue to do in 2007 what got me here in 2006. To those who I nipped, because I'm sure it was a matter of one vote, keep it up. Keep spearing, fearing, fruit pie-ing, and dying. One of you guys will be up here at this time next year.
I want to tell my mom to go to hell and close her legs. I wanna tell my wife that I'm going to FRACK the hell out of her tonight. I wanna thank everyone who voted for me. And finally, I wanna say SCREW 2006! 2007-THE YEAR OF THE HALLS!
*oogie56 wipes away a tear, and heads off stage
*oogie56 comes back to the stage, still glowing from his win.
Half the reason we read comics is because of the beautiful art work that goes into them. If it wasn’t for the art, these books would be any other novel on the shelf. This years nominees are:
Ethan van Sciver
[img=300]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/2f/GreenLanternRebirth5.jpg[/img]
Michael Oeming
[img=300]http://www.tierradeheroes.com/imagenesbd/portadas/1112434640.jpg[/img]
J.G. Jones
[img=200]http://www.newsarama.com/DC/WW219.jpg [/img]
Tony S. Daniel
Terry Dodson
This year’s Best Artist McCrea goes to…
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
Half the reason we read comics is because of the beautiful art work that goes into them. If it wasn’t for the art, these books would be any other novel on the shelf. This years nominees are:
Ethan van Sciver
[img=300]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/2f/GreenLanternRebirth5.jpg[/img]
Michael Oeming
[img=300]http://www.tierradeheroes.com/imagenesbd/portadas/1112434640.jpg[/img]
J.G. Jones
[img=200]http://www.newsarama.com/DC/WW219.jpg [/img]
Tony S. Daniel
Terry Dodson
This year’s Best Artist McCrea goes to…
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
*February skips onto the stage and claps excitedly when she looks out and sees the audience. Quinnbot moves onto the stage more reservedly.
Eeeeee! Hi, everyone! These awards have been so much fun!
*February claps and jumps up and down.
We're here to give an award to the best ancient civilization! Quinnbot knows a LOT about those, so he's gonna take over from here.
Eeeeee! Hi, everyone! These awards have been so much fun!
*February claps and jumps up and down.
We're here to give an award to the best ancient civilization! Quinnbot knows a LOT about those, so he's gonna take over from here.
Thank you, February.
Some people would say that the study of history is unimportant. That these past events hold no relevance to the present. But the fact is that everything that happened before can shed light on what is happening now and may even provide clues to what happens in the future.
Indeed, many of the civilizations nominated in this category created innovations that just recently became prevalent in modern society. They still have a great deal to teach us.
The five nominees are:
The Egyptians
The Greeks
The Romans
The Aztecs
The Atlanteans
And the winner is:
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
Some people would say that the study of history is unimportant. That these past events hold no relevance to the present. But the fact is that everything that happened before can shed light on what is happening now and may even provide clues to what happens in the future.
Indeed, many of the civilizations nominated in this category created innovations that just recently became prevalent in modern society. They still have a great deal to teach us.
The five nominees are:
The Egyptians
The Greeks
The Romans
The Aztecs
The Atlanteans
And the winner is:
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
For the last three years, mainstream comics have been hitting us with mega-event after mega-event. Identity Crisis. Avengers Disassembled. Countdown. House of M. Infinite Crisis. Civil War. Both Marvel and DC pounding away at each other with their biggest guns. A lot of it has been very, very good. Some of it...not so much.
But one of the side-effects from this "event war" has been that no project really stands out anymore. There's so much hype, so much "splitting the internet in half" with one major revelation or another, that what would've been a big deal just a few years ago now gets lost in the shuffle.
So when DC announced something called "52," event-weary fans groaned and wished they could just get back to business as normal. Then as more details about the scope of 52 emerged, fans expressed skepticism. A weekly comic book spanning the entire missing year after Infinite Crisis? It'll never work. It'll never ship on time.
But the first issue, which arrived in May 2006, hooked nearly everyone. The second came the week after. And then the third. They actually managed the weekly schedule. And they were telling good stories as they did it.
In a virtual ocean of one-shots, miniseries, and universe-spanning crossovers, 52 stood out. The ambitious and potentially risky idea paid off. And so, we are proud to present 52 with this special award:
But one of the side-effects from this "event war" has been that no project really stands out anymore. There's so much hype, so much "splitting the internet in half" with one major revelation or another, that what would've been a big deal just a few years ago now gets lost in the shuffle.
So when DC announced something called "52," event-weary fans groaned and wished they could just get back to business as normal. Then as more details about the scope of 52 emerged, fans expressed skepticism. A weekly comic book spanning the entire missing year after Infinite Crisis? It'll never work. It'll never ship on time.
But the first issue, which arrived in May 2006, hooked nearly everyone. The second came the week after. And then the third. They actually managed the weekly schedule. And they were telling good stories as they did it.
In a virtual ocean of one-shots, miniseries, and universe-spanning crossovers, 52 stood out. The ambitious and potentially risky idea paid off. And so, we are proud to present 52 with this special award:
*A slow sawing noise is heard. A man-sized hole is cut into the stage floor, Jon-OH climbs up from the under-side of the stage.*
Hi.
Best Lurker is another mystery catagory.
I know the winner.
I'll tell you who won if you want to know.
Okay, I'll give you a hint.
She's actually never posted.
I'm marrying her tomorrow.
give up?
kay.
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
SURPRISE!
Hi.
Best Lurker is another mystery catagory.
I know the winner.
I'll tell you who won if you want to know.
Okay, I'll give you a hint.
She's actually never posted.
I'm marrying her tomorrow.
give up?
kay.
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]SURPRISE!
Yeah, congratulations on whatever the frack that was.
I'm not sure how I keep getting roped into presenting these fracking things every year, but here I am. Giving away a statue of that little fracking dumbass McCrea. You all know he's just a little worthless bitch, don't you? I mean, frack.
Anyway, this year I'm doing a category near and dear to my fracking heart or some shit like that. That category is Best Webcomic. Now, I know for a fracking fact that my comic is the best, so all this other shit must just be what's left over.
And before any of you assholes start spewing out that bullshit about "Oh, you've only got 21 comics out," and "You never update regularly," and "Your art sucks," why don't you pull up your pink skirts and realize that none of that matters. What matters is that I am the coolest motherfracker around. So frack you.
Anyway, let's get to these fracking webcomics so I can get the frack out of here.
Questionable Content - Some bullshit story about how this whiny-ass little frack's got like half a dozen women around him but just recently started banging any of them. And he's all fracking angsty about that shit, too. I mean, frack, man. Wall-to-wall pussy and he's all making references to bands I've never heard of instead of tapping that ass. What the frack?
Shortpacked! - People who work in a fracking toy store. Whooooeeeee. I think I just shit myself from the excitement that's all over that concept.
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja - Some dumbass that can't decide what the frack he is. It's doctor OR ninja, bitch. Pick one and stop fracking around. Shit.
Penny Arcade - fracking porn for lame-ass geeks is what this is.
Least I Could Do - Here's one I can fracking get behind. About a dude who gets a whole frackload of pussy all the damn time. Almost as much as me, in fact.
But the winner of the second best webcomic is...
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
Hip fracking hooray. See you bitches later.
I'm not sure how I keep getting roped into presenting these fracking things every year, but here I am. Giving away a statue of that little fracking dumbass McCrea. You all know he's just a little worthless bitch, don't you? I mean, frack.
Anyway, this year I'm doing a category near and dear to my fracking heart or some shit like that. That category is Best Webcomic. Now, I know for a fracking fact that my comic is the best, so all this other shit must just be what's left over.
And before any of you assholes start spewing out that bullshit about "Oh, you've only got 21 comics out," and "You never update regularly," and "Your art sucks," why don't you pull up your pink skirts and realize that none of that matters. What matters is that I am the coolest motherfracker around. So frack you.
Anyway, let's get to these fracking webcomics so I can get the frack out of here.
Questionable Content - Some bullshit story about how this whiny-ass little frack's got like half a dozen women around him but just recently started banging any of them. And he's all fracking angsty about that shit, too. I mean, frack, man. Wall-to-wall pussy and he's all making references to bands I've never heard of instead of tapping that ass. What the frack?
Shortpacked! - People who work in a fracking toy store. Whooooeeeee. I think I just shit myself from the excitement that's all over that concept.
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja - Some dumbass that can't decide what the frack he is. It's doctor OR ninja, bitch. Pick one and stop fracking around. Shit.
Penny Arcade - fracking porn for lame-ass geeks is what this is.
Least I Could Do - Here's one I can fracking get behind. About a dude who gets a whole frackload of pussy all the damn time. Almost as much as me, in fact.
But the winner of the second best webcomic is...
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]Hip fracking hooray. See you bitches later.
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