THE SWITCHBOARD


Got a suggestion, complaint, or praise for the programming on KHUH TV? Post it here!

"Hello? Yes, I'd just like to say that Luke Seely is a handsome, handsome man. For a deranged, incestuous, albino midget, anyway. LEAF SHIELD STILL SUX!"

Thanks...I think. Except that I'm not an albino, a midget, or incestuous. Keep those comments coming!

i never noticed that the camera makes my eyes look brown! I always thought they were blue, when they weren't glowing red with rage that is.

I like this job.....I think I'll keep it.

Hi Rick Jones here, long time listener first time caller. I'd just like to say I loved it especially the little news story about Ridge molesting that Otter. You should have been there when saw that, his hot coffee mixed with snot and eye bogeys flew out across the room he was that shocked. I loved it!

Hi james from Va here. I was just wondering about the otter molestation case, is it true the otters had been murdered by JRB prior to The Ridges molestation?

KHUH is investigating any and all harm to otters. It should be noted that no one has been convicted of anything, and under Halls law molesting an otter isn't wrong. Morally, it's a horrid thing. But if we are gonna try Ridge on his morals, we are gonna need to clear like a month on our calendars. This is about truth. More truth to come! Stay tuned.

Will there be...truthiness?

Truthfulness, thruthiness, and truthacopia. It will be a venerable Truthapalooza.

You're just making words up now!

We at the News don't make things up. Next Question.

How big is the Moon?

Bigger than you.

Hopefully, it also does more porn than you. Because there isn't a market for "Ridge Porn" like there is Moon porn.

Will you be airing moon porn on your television station?

This is a family television station!






So yes.

Do you guys need somebody that actually has some experience working in television?

That depends. Are you going to tell us what we should be doing, or what we absolutely shouldn't ever do?

Because we like the latter.

Yes, we definitely like doing things that we absolutely shouldn't ever do.

Well, the FCC frowns on staging live executions on TV, as well as airing a 72-hour marathon of pornography. Seeing how long a person can ride in a wash machine could also get you in trouble. I swear, it's almost like the FCC doesn't want stations to get ratings.

Anyway, I hope those suggestions help.

Oh, oh! Let's kill me on tv! That'll make news.

I'm sorry Twinky, but things that happen every day like children playing and you dying aren't news. Now, going a week without dying, THAT is news.

Wouldn't he die from lack of dying?

I might. I really might.

*TwinkyMaster goes and kills himself

This station needs some sports.....or maybe buy the rights to "24" and "Heroes"

and by buy I mean take through intimidation

Dude, with all of the personalities and abilities we have around here, we could make our own Heroes program.


Ha, I'm the cheerleader!

*oogie56 throws Twinky in front of a bus

You don't have the boobs for it.

*TwinkyMaster crawls out from underneath the bus.


But at least I do have the same unnerving habit of not being able to die.

No, you die. You just come back to life really fast. Totally different.

Bah, technicalities.

Hmmm. Although her body functions did all cease when her brain was punctured.

Hey, the news is a little behind. Do we need to do something drastic to create our own news stories?

Revil Fox is a terrible person! Everyone knows that oogie's mom is a whore, why would Revil say otherwise unless he's sleeping with her!? FIRE HIM

Revil Fox is ugly and he makes babies cry and I hate him! Also whatever he said about that one chick was bad too. REVIL SUCKS!

Dude, like, whoa. Revil thinks oogie's mom is nice? Just...dude. And I thought *I* was wasted...

Hello, KHUH. I am the one and only Al Sharpton, and I have issue with the way that your management, especially the self-proclaimed Tyrant Slovman, has treated Revil for his comments. The complete disregard for Revil's freedom of speach is abborant. The speed with which this action was taken shows a total disregard for fact gathering and the truth. Why can this boy, this young man Revil, not give a perfectly polite compliment to who I assume is a fine, upstanding woman. I'm sure that unlike her son, oogie's mom is a wonderful person who would never associate herself with the dregs that swim in the scum filled pond that is this island.

I am also to understand that there will be a forum with which grievances can be aired. I challenge the management at KHUH, including the self-styled Tyrant, to invinte yours truly, Al Sharpton, to this debate. I shall stand beside Revil, when no one else does. Prove me wrong, Slov-MAN, and be one. Let Al Sharpton voice his concerns with the way you run this business.

Thank you.

*Al Sharpton hangs up

Hello, is Larry there? Larry?

Laaaaaarrrrrryyy...

Pick up, Larry.

Dammit, I don't wanna talk to your fracking answering machine!

*click*

Yeah, can someone hit that guy with a shovel or something. He talks too much.

Oh. My. God. I was like, at the Man Hole last Friday, and Revil was there, and he was in just this awful shirt that didn't go with anything, and he had a brown belt with black shoes! I mean, goodness gracious!

Bad men are coming to kill us all! Get weeapons or run away! HURRY!

Arf, woof, bark, yip, yip yap, ARF!!!

Do you like scary movies?

Scary movies with oogie's mom?

Revil does.

i, personally, think it's been a long time coming.

My thoughts exactly.

i GOTTA get in on the next round of this game show.....it looks friggin sweer!

You heard it here first, folks: Aaronc3477 wants to frack Mothra.

DONT YOU JUDGE ME!


*aaronc3477 spears CO into a sound stage wall

Hey, I just built that!

*KilljoyBob leaves to complain to his union representative.

Not to mention, what happened to freedom of the press? I was just reporting Aaron's lepidopteraphilia, not judging it.

Weird and perverse though it may be.

STOP USING BIG WORDS!


*aaronc3477 throws a car at CO's head