Aaronc3477 vs. Antman256
From HallsWiki
Originally intended to be a mere exhibition match in the Lunatic Fighting League, this battle became so much more.
The two fighters could not have been more unequal. There was Antman256, whose forum persona was that of a pink, fluffy bunny...and there was aaronc3477, who closely resembles the Marvel Comics character Juggernaut. Under normal circumstances, this should have been an easy victory for aaronc3477. But normal circumstances are rare at the Halls.
Antman started the fight by trying to lure aaron in with steroids and pornography. Seeing through this obvious trap, aaron instead cut off Antman's arms and legs and threw him into Darkhawk Lake. Inexplicably, Antman escaped from the Lake, regenerated his severed limbs, distracted aaron with holographic G6BHs while attempting to castrate him with a razor blade. Somehow, aaron had seen through this tactic well in advance, and replaced Antman's razor blades with feathers. Completely unfazed by the holograms, aaron ripped a wrecking ball off its crane and pounded Antman to pieces. To prevent him from regenerating, aaron covered the corpse with jet fuel, burned it, and then pissed all over it.
For no apparent reason, Captain Family Values appeared at this time, chanted "Boom shaka laka kroom," and then killed himself as part of a ritual to resurrect Antman. Thus reborn, Antman found an Imperial Super Star Destroyer just lying around somewhere and flew it into a Death Star parked in orbit.
All this mayhem attracted the attention of President George W. Bush, who determined the only way to stop Antman and aaron from destroying the earth...would be to destroy the earth. With just a push of a button from the Oval Office, Bush launched all United States-controlled nuclear missiles to targets all over the globe, including the Halls. Undaunted by this suicidal act, Antman ordered his Death Star to fire anyway. The earth was blown to smithereens.
Of course, that was all just a dream, as aaron quickly informed Antman before punching him into Elektra Park. Antman responded by cloning himself, then equipping those clones with various weapons. Several clones ran up to aaron, hugged him, and set off the "rubber cement." Completely baffled but far from defeated, aaron shoved a construction beam through what he thought was Antman's throat. It turned out to be aaron's mother. The distraction allowed Antman to summon Libre-Simmons John who flirted with aaron in an attempt to get close enough to use a 9mm pistol on the brute. Once again immune to Antman's bizarre schemes, aaron killed Libre-Simmons John and sat on Antman.
But before Antman could retaliate, aaron employed a completely unexpected and shocking tactic. Citing his dismay over the sheer lunacy of the fight so far, aaron broke his own neck and died. It was the first and only time an LFL Fighter committed suicide during a bout.
Hallsians, other fighters, and Statler and Waldorf were stunned. Never before had they seen such a disjointed and contradictory battle, let alone one that ended in the self-inflicted death of one of their own. But despite his own demise, aaron won the voting for the match 14-4. Thus shamed, Antman resigned from the LFL and has been seen only sparingly since. aaron, meanwhile, got better and went on to win a McCrea Award for his regular season battle with Thor665.
Initially viewed as a horrendous fight, the passage of time has been very good to this exhibition bout, as Hallsians have gradually come around to see it as the hilarious and legendary spectacle it really is.
