Prison of Paranoia

From HallsWiki

On October 7th, 2005, the grisly murder of FutureGuy sparked an embarassing series of events that led to the wrongful imprisonment of five Hallsians.

Upon finding the badly mangled corpse, Guardians immediately suspected TheRidge, who had been previously convicted and jailed for killing Thor665. Based solely on this prior transgression, he was thrown into Joliet Jailhouse once again, and self-appointed jailer Chaomancer Omega threw away the key. However, oogie56 strongly disagreed with this decision, and strenuously argued on TheRidge's behalf. For his efforts, oogie was suspected of being in league with the accused, and was also thrown in a cell.

The situation quickly spiraled out of control thereafter. Revil was jailed for killing a dove to make a feather duster. Slovman, lamenting the fact that three of the most influential Hallsians were in jail, was immediately suspected of being in league with them and locked away. Finally, even the jailer Chaomancer was convinced of his own tenuous "guilt" and put himself in a cell. Each time, the key was either thrown away or swallowed, and escape was supposedly impossible.

Complicating matters was the presence of bumbling private eye Rock Gladstone who had been brought in to determine the real killer but only managed to be convinced by all parties that everyone else was guilty. Confused, bewildered, and verbally abused by the prisoners, Gladstone spent much of his time sobbing and complaining about his mother. DrQuinzel, apparently the only voice of reason at the time, tried to talk some sense into Gladstone and the others, but it wasn't enough.

The end of the fiasco only came when the shredded carcass of 2nd Lt. Camisaroja was discovered. Most agreed that this absolved the prisoners of all guilt, except for Chaomancer, who had become completely unhinged and claimed that everyone would rot in Joliet forever. Since he had thrown away all the keys, it seemed like his lunatic ravings might be proved correct.

Fortunately, a call to Lantern Girl for aid was swiftly answered, and she tore the roof off of Joliet, freeing the prisoners. The lessons learned will not soon be forgotten by the five Hallsians wrongfully accused that day, and each of them wears the Jailbird Badge as a reminder to all others of the dangers of paranoia.