Slovman
From HallsWiki
Slovman, the Tyrant of the Halls, is the founder, owner, administrator, activities director, and the main creative driving force behind nearly all the forums' varied diversions. Virtually ever-present on Halls Isle, it may seem as though Slovman's alter ego, Alex R. Rhoades, doesn't have much of a real life...which isn't far from the truth. Obsessed with the color green, Slovman wielded a Green Lantern power ring at one point, but now draws emerald energy from an unexplained source, and frequently manifests a pair of energy axes when he must charge into combat. Fiercely protective of the Halls and its citizens, he has repeatedly laid it all on the line to keep the Isle free from threats both imagined and real.
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Birth and Fall of the 4F Guild
Arriving at the HCRealms forums in the fall 2002, Slovman and his fiancee DrQuinzel quickly fell in with a small group led by MrFlantastic and Shane "Beetle" Bailey. Called the 4F Guild, its goal was to lighten the mood around the Realms, which was quickly becoming infested with trolls and plagued by flamewars. Slovman was always in the thick of things when the 4Fers went out to derail trouble threads, and quickly became one of the more prominent members of the Guild. But for all the influence the 4F Guild would have, it was "officially" closed down by Flan and Beetle after only three months. The former members, while no longer going out to spread merriment, still wanted to stay close and have at least one scrap of the Realms that wasn't tainted by animosity. It was then that Slovman started the very first Halls of Hysteria thread and dedicated himself to keeping the fun, lighthearted spirit of the 4F alive.
Onward to the Matrix
Things were rapidly deteriorating at HCRealms and there seemed to be very little Slovman and the former 4Fers could do about it. Finally, a young woman named Elektra showed up, talking about another Heroclix forum she was a moderator at, a place called Creation Matrix. It took a little while for anyone to actually investigate the place, but once they did, they found a very welcoming and fun atmosphere. Slovman started up a "Matrix Branch" of the Halls there, and over the course of a few days, more and more of the people who now called themselves "The Gang" started making their way to the new website. In little more than a month, most prominent Gang members had left HCRealms behind completely. The explosion in posts at Creation Matrix led the owner to make an entire subforum for the Halls of Hysteria, with Slovman as its moderator.
Learning the Ropes
Even though he was "in charge" of the forum, there was very little Slovman could actually do when troublemakers would strike. This led him to develop some very unorthodox means of holding trolls at bay until the owner could be summoned to deal with things in a more permanent fashion. Slovman became adept at editing posts, thread titles, and other aspects of a miscreant's persona, simultaneously baffling them and amusing his fellow Hallsians. This remained his favored method of moderation even after he was given broader administrative powers.
The Reign of the Slovmen
On sabbatical after suffering one of the infamous migraines that plagued much of his early days at Creation Matrix, four strange dopplegangers showed up, most claiming to be the "real" Slovman. Slovborg, a half-robot, half-human amalgam; Slovinator, a green-visored humorless fellow; Slovboy, a young punk; and Stove, an armored hammer-wielder who actually made no claim to being Slovman, but just wanted to help protect the Halls in his absence. The four met and fought in several skirmishes before Slovborg finally revealed his true identity: toddmarrone, an old foe from HCRealms. Unleashing his full destructive potential, Slovborg killed Slovinator and Slovboy easily and laid siege to the Halls until Slovman finally appeared, wearing an altered, mostly black uniform, and wearing a beard. He and Stove teamed up and destroyed Slovborg, restoring order to the Halls at last.
Growing Pains
The next few months were punctuated by flurries of villainous activity as Hallsians did battle with several foes, including the Anti-Monitor. Slovman's own "cousin" Slovgirl, was presumed dead in the battle with the Anti-Monitor. But even this setback paled in comparison to what was taking place behind the scenes. The owner of Creation Matrix was becoming increasingly absent, which hamstrung all the moderators, even the "Sentinels" which included Slovman, Chaomancer Omega and K26dp. Ugly incidents with certain other members of the forums and a growing feeling that the content of the Halls was too "adult" for the supposedly family-friendly Matrix just compounded Slovman's dissatisfaction with the situation. In May of 2004 he made the decision to split the Halls off into its own website.
Emerald Dawn
Slovman opened the current Halls of Hysteria website on May 26th, 2004. It was totally autonomous from Creation Matrix and even had a completely different focus. Where the Matrix had been largely about gaming, especially Heroclix, the Halls would focus more on comics and other entertainment, but mostly its own weird brand of quasi-roleplaying. Free to make the place look however he wanted, Slovman naturally chose green and black as the site's main colors, and they have remained so to this day. Helping him with the more technical aspects of forum management was Chaomancer Omega, good friend and coding expert. With a solid core of Hallsians making the trip over from the Matrix, his moderators in place, and a virtually clean slate to work on, Slovman set about creating his idea of what an internet forum should be.
Countdown
It was a busy few months for Slovman. Not only was he learning the ropes of administering and running his own site, he also ran a number of battles including the Battle of the Bots and the Battle to End All Battles I. He also found time to steal and then command a Star Trek-style ship, which he dubbed the USS Imbalance. He captained the Imbalance on two missions, both resulting in first contact with alien species. The second and probably most well-remembered became known as Into the Blue wherein nearly the entire crew was transformed into blue-skinned, nymphomaniac women. The incident ended well, however, and Slovman forged a solid alliance with the Promisciians as a result. But this series of triumphs did little to cushion what followed.
The Clock Strikes Zero
Arguably the greatest crisis to strike Halls Isle, the effects of Zero Halls still reverberate. Starting in late March of 2005, Slovgirl II began systematically destroying building after building with little to no explanation for her sudden betrayal. Slovman's own fiancee, DrQuinzel went missing in the rampage, and Stove was seriously injured as well. Later, entire portions of the Halls starting blinking out of existence and an army of zombie midget clones led by Evil Zombie Herve Villechaize attempted to hijack the USS Imbalance. Slovman led the desperate effort to keep the Imbalance under Hallsian control and was eventually aided by the reappearance of DrQuinzel. But Slovgirl II and her mysterious mentor, Sextant were still wiping out forum after forum, and there was little even the Tyrant could do to stop it, especially after Sextant destroyed one of his power rings. Retreating back to the Fortress of Ineptitude for one last stand, Slovman and others threw everything they had at Sextant. But it was only the heroic and selfless efforts of Stove, crashing the USS Imbalance directly into Sextant, that finally ended the crisis and allowed Halls Isle to be restored. Slovman vowed that Stove's sacrifice would not be forgotten, and erected a memorial statue in his honor.
Rebuilding
While much of the Halls was back to "normal," other parts still lay in ruins. Slovman, now armed only with his spare power ring, led the charge to repair the damage and make the Halls better and stronger than ever. He created the Lunatic Fighting League to provide entertainment and to keep Hallsians in peak fighting form, and ran the Battle to End All Battles II to keep the universe from collapsing. He turned more and more people into G6BHs, but they didn't seem to mind, and it was only temporary. But in October of 2005, a mysterious threat emerged from Elektra Park. Corpses of Halls Isle citizens started turning up, and fingers were pointed everywhere. Even Slovman was not spared accusation and was thrown in Joliet Jailhouse along with four others. When yet more victims turned up and sightings of a giant chicken were reported, their names were all cleared and they were released. But the danger was far from gone, as Slovman himself was viciously attacked by what eventually became known as a chickenraptor. His abdomen sliced open, ribs broken, and organs ruptured, it was only Slovman's power ring that kept him together and alive long enough for Quinnbot to perform emergency surgery. His life was saved and his wounds eventually heal, but it was only a measure of the pain to come.
The Year of Hell
The Lucas-Cylon War
2006 started at the Halls with a call to arms. Quinnbot had spotted an armada of Cylon and Imperial ships, led by none other than George Lucas. With the original USS Imbalance destroyed, the Halls had no means of defending itself against the threat. Setting out to rectify this, Slovman disappeared for a few days, only to return with a fully-armed battlestar loaded with Vipers. He had also secured the assistance of the Promisciian fleet, but there was the chance that they may not arrive in time. Quickly forming a crew, Slovman commanded the Battlestar Imbalance into an overwhelming force with superior firepower. The Imbalance held her own for quite awhile, until the betrayal of Thor665 led to catastrophic damage and loss of life. With the ship severely crippled, his Viper pilots badly outnumbered, and the enraged Thor dispatching anyone who came near him, a seriously injured Slovman was able to reach the controls for the Imbalance's secret weapon, the Norris Cannon. Thor was killed, which bought enough time for the Promisciian reinforcements to arrive. With Lucas's armada smashed, the Imbalance and her crew limped back home, victorious.
An Ending
It was upon returning from the battle with Lucas that Slovman suffered the worst loss of all. His real-life fiancee of five years, DrQuinzel, decided to leave him. She too had been with every incarnation of the Halls and had inspired a great deal of the insane antics that had become Hallsian trademarks. Though the two pledged to remain friends, DrQuinzel's presence on the Halls quickly dwindled, and the absence was keenly felt by all. At the same time, Slovman lost his job, and was forced to quit buying comics. Depressed and poor, Slovman nearly considered giving up the Halls, but decided against it.
Changing of the Guard
The owner of Creation Matrix, Joel dela Cruz, had been a Monarch-in-absentia even before the Halls had split off. This came to a head in early 2006, with what became known as Glitch in the Matrix. In addition to co-hosting "radio" coverage of the event with Chaomancer Omega, Slovman also played a role in advising Joel as to whom he should hand the reigns over to. Since Lancelot was the only person at the time who seemed willing to carry the burden, Slovman endorsed him. Once installed, Lancelot promised to maintain ties with the Halls, but his own poor management of the Matrix has played a role in the two websites drifting farther apart.
More Departures
Things did not get any easier as the Year of Hell ground on. Shortly after the Halls' Second Anniversary, Slovman was forced to demote long-time Hallsian and Guardian K26dp for inappropriate conduct. The action sent shockwaves through the Halls, dividing citizens and moderators alike. While many Hallsians had reservations about the demotion, most decided to support the decision and stay. A few, including K2, two other moderators, and a handful of citizens, did not. While Slovman never doubted that it was the right thing to do, he nevertheless regretted the effect it had on the Halls.
Celestial Imbalance
Setting out aboard the Battlestar Imbalance once again, Slovman and crew were on a mission to find and retrieve the corpse of their fallen former comrade, Thor665. Instead, they were drawn into an interstellar conflict between Goat,Legend, Orson Welles, and the Celestial Referees. Forced to run the Battle to End All Battles III as a diversion so that Legend and his allies could invade the Celestial Referees' home planet, Slovman unwittingly aided the trio in becoming the new Celestial Referees and laid the groundwork for yet another cosmic conflict.
Calm Before The...
A brief respite from drama finally arrived in late July. During this time, Slovman inexplicably developed a female alter-ego, a cute, pigtailed girl in a green dress and stockings. No one knows exactly how this happened or what causes her to manifest. He also took a trip to Los Angeles, California where he enjoyed himself greatly aside from being attacked by a giant sloth near the LaBrea Tar Pits. He returned to the Halls refreshed and renewed, hoping that the worst of 2006 was behind him.
Storm
When his evil counterpart, Mirror Slovman revealed himself in the Halls, Slovman realized that things can always get worse. He had killed Revil and seriously wounded Slovwoman with barely a wave of his hand, and now intended to crush the Tyrant in full view of everyone to illustrate just how powerful he was. Sealed away in a red energy bubble, the two Slovmen did battle, Red Lantern ring versus Green Lantern ring. Slovman quickly realized he was severely outmatched and his evil twin soon explained why; he had killed all the Red Lanterns of his universe and absorbed their powers. All Slovman could do was stall for time and hope his friends could find a way through the forcefield. Instead, Slovman's ring shattered under Mirror Slovman's onslaught. Figuring that the Hallsians' will would be broken after seeing their Tyrant defeated, Mirror Slovman dropped the forcefield. Ribs broken, limping, and without his only weapon, Slovman nevertheless inspired the Hallsians to fight on, and he watched as they swarmed into combat. The evil emperor was still more than a match for their combined forces, but they managed to weaken him enough that Slovman, wielding the Stovesword, was able to stab Mirror Slovman through the chest, mortally wounding him. With his last breaths, the evil twin warned that the rest of his universe was watching, and would be coming after him. Slovman's only response to this was to crush the Red Lantern ring, and ordered that Mirror Slovman's body be incinerated.
Aftermath
With his ring gone, Slovman's ability to patrol the sprawling environs of Halls Isle was severely curtailed. It was at this time that several areas were either bulldozed or conflated, including the Midtowns and the University of the Halls. But when Legend made contact with the Halls again and tapped Slovman to run the Fantasy Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny, he also sent along someone to help train Slovman for combat without the ring: Destiny Lass. A near-supernatural expert in martial arts, Destiny Lass quickly whipped Slovman into shape and claimed that he still had some residual emerald energy hidden within him. When Jade appeared on Halls Isle a few months later, her contact with Slovman apparently unlocked the energy, and he was able to manifest two construct axes in time to help beat back a full-scale assault by the Undead Poets Society.
A Fresh Start
The end of 2006 was a relief to all Hallsians. And while 2007 was by no means guaranteed to be any better, everyone agreed it couldn't be much worse. Slovman decided that a heroic journey was in order, and thus formed a party to go on the Quest for the Rock of Shining Intellect. But what started out as an excuse to slay monsters in caves and pick up fancy loot ended up turning into an orbital showdown with George Lucas who was also looking for the Rock. The Hallsians once again defeated him, but left him stranded on Halls Isle.
Kidnapped
Shortly thereafter, Slovman was clubbed over the head and dragged away by a mysterious figure. Naturally, TheRidge was the first one suspected, but his name was quickly cleared. George Lucas was the next logical choice, but he only planned to take advantage of the Tyrant's absence. Another suspect in the form of Tommy Elliot was quickly killed and therefore cleared. Both Rock Gladstone and the great Horatio Caine worked the case but could find very few clues as to who might have taken Slovman. Hallsians soon had more pressing matters to attend to as Lucas allied with Sodacrotch Man and the Undead Poets Society and launched a massive assault on the Halls. The foes were eventually beaten back, but Slovman remained missing. Finally, Hallsians watched as Destiny Lass brought an unconscious Tyrant back to the Halls, and claimed that she had been engaged in an intense mating cycle with him for the last two weeks. Claiming that she was now pregnant and that their offspring was destined to save the universe, Destiny Lass returned to her home planet to carry the child to term.
Sux and Hax
After recovering from his somewhat enviable "ordeal," Slovman began to miss the ability he once had to fly. He inexplicably acquired a horse-sized mosquito that he named Suckretariat and began flying it around Halls Isle, much to the horror of everyone on Halls Isle with blood. The Halls was once again the target of Lucas's vengeance when a reprogrammed KJBot activated a nuclear device in his chest. While Slovman had previously been unable to create anything other than his emerald energy axes, he somehow managed to contain the blast inside a green bubble, indicating that he may yet regain full use of the powers he had as a Lantern. Later, a hacker's attack on the Halls left the Tyrant scrambling to shore up the security systems and defenses, very reluctantly asking for a large donation of funds from the Hallsians. The work on this continues, even as Slovman gears up to run Battle of the Bots II, the FUSUD, and the LFL.
Battles Hosted (7)
Battle of the Bots, Battle to End All Battles, Battle to End All Battles II, Battle of the Ideas Doomed to Deferred Success, Battle of the Final Fantasy Characters, Battle of the Starships, Battle of the Bots II
Badges (34)
