Zero Halls
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Attack on Halls University
On March 18th, 2005, a chain of events began that would forever alter the Halls of Hysteria. Slovgirl II, who had taken over the Phantom Oa Doom Fraternity House, launched an unprovoked attack on the Abra Pocus Mojo House, completely destroying it. Before anyone could determine a motive, let alone a means of stopping her, she leveled several other University buildings, then turned her attention back to the fraternities. Aye Felta Thigh House was the next to fall, followed soon after by Wombat Llama Squid. Neither went down without a fight, but in the end neither the numbers of AFT nor the bazooka of DrQuinzel could stop the strangely over-powered fury of Slovgirl. DrQuinzel went missing shortly after the battle to save WLS House, and a search of the rubble turned up no body. With a life possibly lost, the need to stop Slovgirl intensified.
After having his home destroyed, the armored warrior Stove entered the fray, engaging in an extended battle with Slovgirl over the Prast Basketball Courts. He too was ultimately defeated, but managed to escape back to the Fortress of Ineptitude with the help of Slovman.
Elsewhere in the Halls, mysterious "White Events" were cropping up, wiping out random threads and even entire forums. Chaomancer Omega's chaos powers seemed to be on the fritz. People from other time periods began appearing out of nowhere. Then an ominous visit from a future version of KilljoyBob drove home just how desperate the situation might become; he was the only remaining survivor among the Hallsians in an era so bleak that he didn't even have fruit pies to throw. But before we could convince him to give us anything more than vague warnings, he was zapped away by a shadowy figure.
Battle for the Imbalance
Things were even unraveling in space aboard the USS Imbalance as Evil Zombie Herve Villechaize and his horde of clones had laid siege to the starship. Seemingly impervious to any conventional means of killing them, Slovman turned to an ancient book found in the APM House wreckage for some clue as to how to defeat them. But before Slovdroid 2.0 could complete the translation, his body was destroyed by the zombie midgets and it was only some quick thinking on Chaomancer Omega's part that saved Slovdroid's memory core.
All the while Slovgirl was continuing her spree of destruction virtually unopposed as more and more forums fell victim to White Events. It became increasingly apparent that the shadowy figure was behind all of this, and suspicion fell on the evil Anti-Monitor. But even that wasn't certain. Hallsians kept getting more questions rather than answers as to why the world was virtually collapsing around them.
Finally, during the Evil Herve Clones' siege on the USS Imbalance, a glimmer of hope appeared in the form of DrQuinzel, who appeared on the bridge through a glimmering portal and declared that she had become the Slayer of the Halls. With all-too-appropriate music playing through the ship's speakers, DrQuinzel wasted the zombie midgets and forced Zombie Herve to retreat.
The Final Hours
But the victory couldn't be celebrated for long. Slovgirl's rampage finally turned to the Halls itself, imploding the hallowed structure. In the aftermath, the Anti-Monitor appeared, gloating about his triumph, only to be blasted and destroyed by the mysterious figure who FINALLY revealed himself as a being known as Sextant. aaronc3477, furious about what Slovgirl had done to the AFT Fraternity, foolishly charged at Sextant even though we warned him not to, and was practically ripped to shreds. Slovman attempted to intervene, only for his power ring to crumble and fall off his finger. So even though the Hallsians finally knew who their true enemy was, it didn't look like it was going to do any good.
Slovgirl reappeared on the night of March 31st, proclaiming it to be the last night the Halls would ever know. But just as she was about to kill Slovman, the long-absent Lantern Girl FINALLY arrived, and proceeded to beat the tar out of her former counterpart. Of course, no one got to sit back and enjoy the chick fight, because Evil Zombie Herve chose that moment to send down his elite force of armored clones, and it was all the Hallsians could do to fend them off. A tactical retreat to the Fortress of Ineptitude was the only option, so with Fogs and DrQuinzel laying down cover fire and Lantern Girl forcing the zombie clones to orgasm uncontrollably, Chaomancer Omega and Slovman escape in the A-Team Van, leaping over a huge white chasm that used to be the Comics Forums.
Last Stand at the Fortress of Ineptitude
Once at the Fortress, the Hallsians discover that Stove has been busy reinforcing the defensive systems, and has devised a way of restoring all the deleted forums...if they manage to survive Sextant's final assault, that is. Countering his evil chao with our warrior penguins, Stove set off to rescue DrQuinzel and Fogs from the battlefield, barely succeeding before being blasted out of the sky. But seconds before he would have been overrun by chao, Stove got an idea and managed to beam himself aboard the USS Imbalance.
Back at the Fortress, the chao army was advancing rapidly, and Sextant's attacks were draining the shields. Fed up, Chaomancer Omega grabbed his trusty Shotgun(TM) and climbed onto the roof of the Fortress, challenging Sextant to reveal his true identity and motives...only to be shocked with the revelation that Sextant is Chaomancer Omega...FROM THE FUTURE!!!
Stunned, the Hallsians barely had time to register this development before something entered the atmosphere overhead and streaked towards Sextant...the Imbalance! Stove let out a thunderous battle cry as he slammed the ship into Sextant, and a massive explosion ripped through the Halls, sparing only the shielded Fortress. Everything else was a gaping white void...ZERO HALLS.
The Aftermath
But through Stove's ingenuity and self-sacrifice, the Fortress's computers were able to almost completely restore the forums within a few days and the Hallsians were able to begin picking up the pieces and rebuild. The event even seemed to ADD a few places to the Halls, namely the ultra-dangerous Elektra Park and Darkhawk Lake. But the last of the Fortress's power had been drained in the process, and Slovman decided to build the Satellite of Love to serve as the headquarters for the moderators. Slovgirl was taken away by Lantern Girl and "retrained." Slovdroid 2.0's memory core eventually became the basis for Quinnbot, who became DrQuinzel's Watcher since he was the only one who could translate the text that had prophesized her Slayerhood.
But all that was gained and rebuilt in the aftermath of Zero Halls could barely make up for the loss of Stove, who in his final moments proved his worth as a true hero. Through his memorial at Stove Point, and in the hearts and minds of Hallsians, he will always be remembered.
